It all started when our maid told my wife she would not come to work for a week. And, she also said that on return, she wanted a raise.
My wife was shocked. However like a seasoned boxer, she bounced back into combative mode. But instead of the obvious ‘opponent’, she chose me, the meeker sex. Standing between me and Breaking News, she declared, “Look! You are retired but I don’t have that luxury. The least you can do is to help me during crisis situations. So from tomorrow, till the maid returns, you will take out the clothes from the washing machine and spread them on the clothesline.”
I was petrified. Quickly but humbly I reasoned with her: “But I don’t know where the clothesline is…. also I have never done such a thing in my entire life…” She brushed aside those arguments as if they are cobwebs and gave a solution: “Don’t worry. I’ll train you.”
ADVERTISEMENT
The next morning, just as I was busy watching the best catches on TV for the umpteenth time, my wife interrupted it and asked me to take out the wet clothes and put them out to dry. As I pulled out the entangled clothes from the washing machine and proceeded to hang them, she stopped me and instructed that each piece of clothing has to be ‘stir-dried’, that is, every cloth has to be held in both hands and waved strongly in the air, in several impulses. She explained that this reduces wrinkles as well as moisture. Quoting from Quora, she averred it reduces ironing time by 26.4% and drying time by 32.5%. I was impressed.
After obeying her instructions, just as I began to hang the clothes on the merit of ‘first come first hanged’ basis, she reappeared from nowhere and said “Look! Larger clothes like towels and sarees should be hung on the outer side and smaller ones such as undergarments on the inner side. This procedure offers two benefits: first, the larger ones need more sunshine; and, innerwear should not be visible to neighbours — just etiquette.”
On this occasion I was not impressed. Nevertheless I proceeded to do what she wanted me to. Later, as I started to put the clips, she cautioned: “Do not try to save work or clips by placing one for two by overlapping the clothes. Because the rate of evaporation of moisture in the cloth below is lower by 70.8%. So use two clips per cloth without any overlapping”. She continued: “Also, trousers should be turned inside out to expose pockets to the sun; shirts to be hung by the collar; undergarments with clip on the elastic; towels, saris, and so on, which are symmetrical in shape, to be hung equally on both sides of the wire. I was stunned by the minute details.
ADVERTISEMENT
On the sixth day my wife complimented me, saying I was indeed a fast learner and doing a better job than the maid. I didn’t suspect any foul play then. The next day the maid came to work but began with the demand for a raise. My wife, as cool as a refrigerator, told her: “Instead of an increase in wages, I will reduce your workload. From today you don’t have to do the job of putting clothes out to dry.” It was the turn of the maid, and me, to get a shock.
soraiyurvraman@gmail.com