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Out obstructing the field

June 23, 2013 12:22 am | Updated 02:23 am IST

Mr. Cricket arrives at the celestial check post.

Souls are sorted here for eligibility to H-1 or H-2 visa. Noticing the long long H-1 Q, Mr. Cricket wisely chooses the short-cut Q for H-2. After some time, he finds the other Q moving faster like T-20, while his Q ‘tests’ his patience. A stealthy single to the supervisor is taken.

“Ssh ...Want to earn a suitcase full of Gandhi Note? ... Ssh...Let me jump”

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“Ssh” whispers back Super, “THAT Q suits your case better!”

“Silly mid-off! ... Millions Q for hours to watch ME!” roars Mr.C

“No ball!” gores Super, “No spot-fixing in soul-fixing is allowed here. And NO IPL 420 nor ODI plenty...only Test...test of character! GO THERE!”

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“Hey, never reverse sweep me! I am the earthly GOD more popular than the one here!”

“OUT handling the ball! ... THERE IS ONLY ONE GOD!”

“That so? Why then so many temples for so many Gods?” pricks Mr.C

“That so? Why then so many versions of cricket?” smirks Super.

“Beamer, eh? That only proves your God too hoodwinks His fans but we can do it better...Shorter game, longer Q, bigger loot...Aha, howzzzthat?”

“OUT obstructing the field!...Go join that Q”

“That is the only mantra you know?...Anyway, why insist on that Q?”

“Because that is where you get H-1 visa for admittance to BCCI-1”

“Angalamatchreferee! ... Copied our powerful model” boos Mr.C

“Yes” coos Super, “Bureau for Correction of Cheats & Indisciplined”

“WHAT? How dare you market Hell as BCCI without royalty?”

“We believe in LOYALTY to Dharma, not royalty! Now go join that Q”

“Go to Hell ... What is wrong with this Q?” screeches Mr.C

“Nothing but it is wrong Q for YOU!” preaches Super, “Because this is for getting H-2 visa for admittance to BCCI-2”

“Hell’s Bells ... How can there be TWO of one entity?” booms Mr.C

“How can there be four umpires plus match referee for one match?” zooms Super, “And what about one God of yours stepping aside & an expelled ex-God stepping inside from backside?”

“Hey ... a coin may have two sides but it is still ONE! Well, aren’t there TWO PMs?” pokes Mr.C

“Wide! Politics is outside the boundary of God!” jokes Super

“So is Cricket!” baritones Mr.C

“Exactly” intones Super

“What exactly you mean by exactly?” screams Mr.C

“Exactly that you belong therefore in the other Q for BCCI - 1!” beams Super and adds “Trust me, you will be very uncomfortable in BCCI-2”

“Hey..You trust ME the super king of sports! I will be comfortable anywhere...Board room or court room” laughs Mr. C derisively.

“Sure or want to go for DRS?” coughs Super more derisively, “Because BCCI-2 is Godrej- make Bureau for Chaste Conduct & Integrity!”

Mr. Cricket falls. Supervisor calls the guards.

( The writer’s email: sivaramansm42@yahoo.co.in )

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