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The irresolute gift of matrimonial bliss

March 14, 2015 10:01 pm | Updated 10:09 pm IST

Still in the matrimonial waiting list? Not to worry.

A wedding organised by Sweekara Kendra, Department of Women and Child Development in Bangalore. Photo: Bhagya Prakash K.

In all cultures generally, nuptials are regarded as a tantalising and an angelic bond. A sacramental institution rolling through generations, embracing permanency of union between two souls. One sets out on the matrimonial voyage with many hopes and expectations. When you look deeper into the issue, several questions will come up that may require logical reasoning, such as determining the probable grounds on which one would concede to matrimony.

At this point, to many the train of thought would be clouded, making it hard to form an opinion. Appreciating their predicament, I shall render a rough count of the points in favour of a person seeking to settle down. These comprise conforming to societal norms, legal questions, financial dependability, spirituality, faith and religion, scope for emotional backing, staying off meaningless flings, setting eyes on the highest levels of commitment, a wishful desire to call someone your own, reassuring parents about your future, creating a new entity that gives satisfaction and meaning to your existence, and so on. The moment that reasoning becomes apparent, the very purpose of tying the knot becomes clear, preventing natural human attractions from flying asunder.

Taking the plunge is a crucial step in a person’s life. But more and more people are tending to wait longer prior to taking that call; indeed, many face a prolonged deferment. Some often cling to fate, expecting it to bring them that state of wedded bliss.

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The first kind of postponement broadly arises on account of uncertainties, issues of financial independence, compatibility issues, career focus and so on. The latter scenario relates to values of astrology, involving horoscope compatibility and planetary predictions. In this context, it will not be fruitful to have a dialogue with people with a fixed mindset on this subject.

In India, the moment a girl turns out to have Moolam, Ayilyam, Kettai or Pooradam as the birth star (nakshatram), many parents start worrying about her marriage. Some of them would feel helpless, considering the age-old adages and negative aspects attached to them. At this point, it is vital to value the many stellar advantages set against the negatives. Despite the many positives, people continue to be torn between favourable and unfavourable birth stars. Some parents-to-be even go to the extent of planning a Caesarean section at the time and date they desire for the birth of their child.

This typically happens when people lay great emphasis on digging up that perfect astrological forecast or one that is close to perfection. In this race to secure an impeccable alliance, the age factor evolves as a bell-ringer. As mature adults, we must be well-versed with where to find the middle ground.

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It is natural that people will want to avoid trouble of any sort in their lives. However, this should not be at the cost of hampering one’s marital prospects. It is important to circumvent factors that delay marriages without reason. What is further disturbing is that some people, rather than considering issues of compatibility between the couple in the first place, put inordinate emphasis on hardcore future observations and planetary positions. This could lead to dissatisfaction and even remorse.

People need not worry too much about delays in nuptials but need to be prudent and aware of their actions and repercussions to fix matches. Marriage is an incredible gift that nurtures productive and stable partnerships, reflecting faith, passion, love and support.

divbala2011@gmail.com

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