Being on the freshers’ list of senior citizens I am getting seriously worried, looking at the way the menfolk wither and turn useless with age. On the contrary, how women continue to stay sharp and active right into their eighties baffle me. Of course, one simple reason is that “non-working” women generally have no retirement age and continue actively with their household chores and social mores, irrespective of age. The men, on the other hand, literally put their legs up after retirement from their jobs, reading the newspaper and watching TV. They are socially inactive — having been largely engrossed in work during their working lives — and by the late-sixties their physical and mental faculties deteriorate dramatically.
I have been keenly observing elderly couples in my family and outside and find that invariably it is the men who are so much dependent on their wives for everything, be it shopping, travelling or handling routine chores. It is the wife who handles the phone calls, finds the seat and berth numbers in the train, orders food in the restaurants, makes enquiries at public places — and the husband follows her like an obedient child.
This role-reversal in old age is significant. The trend is so pronounced that men eventually become useless with age and a burden on others, particularly the wife. This phenomenon needs to be taken seriously so that menfolk take preventive steps and continue to remain active and useful (or at least tolerable) with age. As age advances I find that men have less and less to do. My mother-in-law often complains of her husband’s horizontal existence and consequently they are always at right angles on all issues. My family (wife and two daughters) totally agree with my findings and have come up with umpteen suggestions to keep me busy and fit (and also out of their way).
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As for me, I find that after retirement I have no social life and need to make new friends urgently. To keep myself physically fit I have started going to the gymnasium every day, and I have decided to continue using my two-wheeler, rather than the car, as much as possible to keep my reflexes sharp.
My daughters have lined up a stack of books for me to read, to follow a passion for which I had no time while working. My wife thrusts The Hindu ’s Sudoku and crossword sections into my hands every day to keep my brain cells from atrophying.
I have, with my wife’s enthusiastic encouragement, started doing household chores. These include washing, cleaning bathrooms, making beds and so on (not that I particularly enjoy doing all this) and I also make my own coffee. This, I suspect, is also an effective way of keeping me from poking my nose into domestic issues which I was hitherto unaware of.
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I sincerely hope that if I persist in my efforts I can remain sharp and fit enough to at least take care of my own basic needs into my eighties and, more importantly, avoid the wife’s sniggers over her husband’s inactive existence. I have also started looking for another regular job.
Has anyone thought of old-age training for men?
cbe_nr@yahoo.co.in