A friend of mine lost his father yesterday. I heard about it from another friend of mine and was left reeling. What shall I do? What am I supposed to do? Shall I call him? Or shall I call his mother? What shall I tell them even if I did call? What words and tone do I choose? How might he react?
And then, I decided to leave him alone. That might appear rude, yet sometimes the best way to help people in pain is to let them be. Give them time to get over it.
There is nothing I can do about this, is there? The dead do not come back, no matter how hard we wish they did. Yet I can’t help but want him back. Lots of people die every day, don’t they? Some are wished back and some not, still no one comes back.
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And again as I take my hands off my friend’s cell phone number, I wish he hadn’t lost his dad, so that I could help myself from sympathising with him, so that I could walk beside him the way we used to and not feel awkward about it or anything else.
Anyway, the best I could do is: Dear Dad, you were the best dad my dear friend could ever have had, and as much as I hope that you hadn’t gone, I sincerely wish that your son would be okay; that he’d have the courage to look after your family and himself too. I only hope he’d be happy again.
And I offer my sincere condolences through the language of my heart …
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