This story is one of many such incidents.
Each day when she returned from college by the evening city bus, she would find a boy waiting at the street corner and ogling at her. Some days he even followed her home passing remarks with an amorous tinge. When she told her parents, they accused her of making the first eye contact with the boy and inviting trouble. And they beat her up and stopped her from going to college.
A student of Lady Doak College (LDC), Anamika (name changed), was tired of shutting up. She knew many of her friends did so and even discontinued studying.
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Breaking the silence was her first step to join the war against gender violence. She reported the matter to the college management and the faculty from the Centre for Women’s Studies (CWS) stood by her. A police complaint was filed, the boy was identified and rounded up, his parents informed and the boy was let off with warnings. Thankfully he did not trouble her anymore. Anamika’s parents came around to rally behind their daughter, the first generation in their family to attend college. The police commissioner praised Anamika for being bold and told her that since victims choose to remain silent either out of shame or fear, the guilty get audacious. But one complaint and action teaches a lesson to other prospective stalkers.
When Susan Linda, the resource person for a workshop at LDC on “Women’s issues via social media” suggested activism with hashtags to eliminate violence against women and children, an emboldened Anamika and her friends rose to support #Notquietanymore. And that marked a beginning in transformation.
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Her friend mentioned she was regularly subjected to the humiliation of getting rejected by boys who came to her house with their families seeking matrimonial alliance. “Why can’t it be the reverse? Why doesn’t a girl go to see a boy in his house?” she wondered and #EverydayIface was born.
Young college girls gathered to attend the workshop coinciding with the international campaign on 16 days of activism to fight gender violence. Many of them hid several untold stories but got talking at this forum provided by the CWS. Another student talked about being body shamed as she did not match the stereotypical beauty standards, while another mentioned slut shaming to the surprise of Chennai-based Susan.
#Itakeaction, #Iamdetermined, #Weareequal, #Leavenoonebehind, #Unitetofight became the speak up points to join the conversations on social media against gender violence that happens in every country and every society, at home, in schools, on the streets, at work, on the internet. Too often it goes unpunished and that is why there is also going to be an inter-collegiate session with boys next week for empathy building.
“No matter where violence against women happens, what form it takes, and whom it impacts, it must be stopped,” Susan told her audience and like many others she believes that social media alone can help to remove the ‘victim’ tag from a sufferer and put the ‘survivor’ tag.
Girls today want to resolve issues openly, points out the centre head Beulah Rajkumar, but many of them, and particularly those hailing from rural and peripheral areas of the city, do not find or have the support of their families. Social media helps them to share with others and at the same time maintain anonymity.
Since social media is largely about dealing with participation, it helps the girls in realising that they are not alone. “To be able to reach out to so many others despite the distance and difference in cultures is a healing process,” says Susan, who helped the group to fine tune their visibility on social media using all techniques to their advantage.
Just 16 days of activism is not enough to fight the battle of gender violence. It is a full time job and the girls need all the help they can get. So the students took their campaign beyond the campus to do interviews, take pictures that speak, do memes, prepare telling posters and photo montage on women’s issues. They also shared their own stories and tagged everything to their fb, instagram and twitter posts. They also learnt about various Apps and how to use them in order to open more avenues for going viral.
The idea is to give them wider space to come together and change the way the most pressing social issues of our times are talked about now. “Twitter and instagram are the places to be in because they shape conversations with an unprecedented impact,” says Susan.
Closure of issues happen only in real world. The beginning is in the online world and women need to tap the strength of social media to create an assertive space for themselves. “The twitter hashtivitism not only empowers women but also raises awareness about the issues that affect us all,” says Susan. It allows thousands of people to speak about their situations and millions others see or read it, she adds.
The 16 days campaign appears to slip by quietly but there are organisations, like the Ekta Resource Centre for women that have been involved in making women feel confident. Through their activities spread over a fortnight, they let the women know that there is assistance for them, from hotlines to safe haven organizations and a good support network. After all, it does not hurt the cause to raise awareness.