BC-AD: Zuckerberg calling Zuckerberg

Whether you download a suite or file a suit, technology is always a boon, says a tech fan.

BC: Hey, what's up?

AD: Did you hear about the 83-year-old woman who walked into an Apple store — without seeing the glass door in front of her? She broke her nose.

BC: It's understandable that Apple fans hate windows, but ignoring doors as well can be hazardous, right?

AD: Absolutely! However, the old lady is now suing Apple for a million dollars for not having displayed appropriate warning signs in the store.

BC: What did she expect — ‘Open door before entering'? Or perhaps ‘Don't try to walk through door unless your last name is Houdini'?

AD: There have been crazier cases filed against tech companies.

BC: I always thought technology made people slightly crazy.

AD: It's the IPO syndrome.

BC: You mean, invest in their Initial Public Offering?

AD: No, invest in the ‘Intercept Profits Officially' scheme — in other words, wait for the company to make money and then file absurd cases so you can rip them off for a few millions.

BC: Didn't I tell you that the human mind is smarter than technology?

AD: But smart enough to hide transmitters in your iPod?

BC: What do you mean?

AD: A man named Gregory McKenna filed a case against Apple that it aided the mafia in transmitting their threats through transmitters that the company had apparently fixed in his iPods.

BC: How bizarre.

AD: Bizarre is a word that has to be reserved for another case that a prisoner named Jonathan Lee Riches filed against Apple, Steve Jobs and an employee of the prison — for having attempted to sexually assault him with an iPhone.

BC: People seem to be dreaming up new ways of becoming rich.

AD: You're pretty close to the truth. Riches finally accepted that the sexual assaults seemed to have taken place in his dreams and dropped the case.

BC: Looks like Apple can keep doctors away, but not lawyers.

AD: They make big billions — and that's what makes Apple the forbidden fruit that's tempting mankind.

BC: I agree with you, technology does show the way to a prosperous future.

AD: However, technology may not always show you the right way.

BC: Why do you say that?

AD: A woman, who used Google maps to find her way, mistook the directions, continued into a busy highway and got hit by a speeding car.

BC: And she has sued Google?

AD: Yes, for $100,000, because she was given directions that were unsafe.

BC: Sounds like people won't stop until they get the whole company.

AD: And in some cases, they'll want the chairman of the company.

BC: What?

AD: An Israeli entrepreneur named Rotem Guez changed his name to Mark Zuckerberg and legally registered it.

BC: I don't believe this.

AD: He then sued Facebook because they had blocked his profile.

BC: So there are two Zuckerbergs now?

AD: Apparently, there are quite a few out there... Facebook then sued the fake Zuckerberg for violating their policies through his business activities.

BC: Facebook sued Mark Zuckerberg?

AD: That was one of the reasons why he changed his name — to see if they would sue ‘him'.

BC: If they ever make a sequel to ‘The Social Network', they can call it the Face-to-face book.

AD: One can imagine the press having a field day with Mark Zuckerberg suing Mark Zuckerberg.

BC: Who would have thought the Like button would take on a whole new meaning? Instead of having people ‘like' their founder, Facebook now has to contend with another like him.

sureshl.india@gmail.com