Respected Madam/ Sir,
Nonstop cold. Nonstop fever. Cough means sound like hippopotamus is doing pranayam. This is the life of Mr. Mathrubootham for days and days.
And for what? For what I am suffering like this? Did I eat some bad food items? Did I have 15 litres Arun ice-cream in AC room sitting in underwear? Is it ebola type? No. No. Thousand times no.
ADVERTISEMENT
Mr. Mathrubootham is suffering because despite brain and Mrs. Mathrubootham saying again and again ‘No Mathrubootham no, no, no. Advice from abroad living Indian is danger
Story started two weeks back. Dr. Shankaramenon put one phone call and said, “Hello Mathrubootham I am in the clinic whether you are free for two or three hours?”
I said, “Shankaramenon, whether you are in the clinic or doing chicanery secretly watching
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
He said, “How dare you, Mathrubootham, this very moment one lady with complaint of kidney is sitting in front of me and I am doing treatment.”
I said, “Is it, then why you are whispering?”
He said, “Mathrubootham, whether you know any culture of doctors or no? Doctors should always talk in low volume with dignity.”
At that moment I heard one sound in the background of phone call. One lady is saying hello sir, please don’t do phone call in the theatre, it is disturbing other people. I said, “Eureka! Shankaramenon you are watching film I knew from beginning itself.”
He said, “What lies and fabrications, Mathrubootham. That is nurse from the operating theatre.”
I said, “Oh my god, nasty fellow, don’t use one full lifetime quota of lies in one phone call itself, now tell me what it is.”
He said, “Mathrubootham, my daughter in U.S. is having one friend from Jamshedpur. She is visiting Chennai for one day and coming for dinner in my house. Can you please keep her in your flat until I am returning from clinic?”
I said, “Ok, no problem I am in the house.” At that moment ‘Magamuni’ song started playing in background. Immediately Shankaramenon said, “Ok, bye, Mathrubootham, one patient has come with emergency.”
I said, “What is the emergency?”
He said, “It is very complicated you will not understand,” and immediately cut the phone.
After some time, a lady came to our flat. She is from Jamshedpur but living in U.S. We had tea and tiffin items and all. And then she said, “Uncle, why all Indian retired people just sit at home like pot plant instead of enjoying free time.”
I said, “What nonsense you are talking. I am reading novels, watching films, doing Seniors Intermediate Yoga. So many activities are there.”
She said, “But uncle these are old people activities. Why you are not going for trekking, tourism, world tour?” I wanted to say young lady I don’t know about United States and all but in Anna Nagar on tree only jackfruit is growing, not currency note.
Madam/ Sir, at that moment it started raining and raining like anything. American lady said, “Oh it is so beautiful to see the rain in India, shall we go to the balcony. When was last time you played in the rain?”
I said, “I have no idea, maybe in 1960s.”
She said, “Please go and stand in rain for two minutes, enjoy the life please.” Mrs. Traitor Mathrubootham said, “Yes, yes you please go, I have to go to the kitchen.”
Madam/ Sir, I thought ok fine 2-3 minutes in the rain what will happen. So I spent 10 minutes enjoying like anything. Memories of childhood came and came. Then Mrs. M came running with turkey towel and said enough. People are looking and putting on Facebook.
Then what happened? Cold and cough and fever and miserable life for two weeks. American lady has gone back to America. For her any problem? Nothing.
Madam/ Sir, please publish this advice in your newspaper. If you ask people in India for advice at least 50% will be nonsense. If you ask abroad Indian, then 95% nonsense. Be careful.
Yours in misery,
J. Mathrubootham