How to become both active and eco-friendly

I’m feeling very annoyed with The Hindu , and I need to speak up. You could call this biting the hand that feeds me, but they don’t really pay me that much. I’m doing it reluctantly. It’s just that it’s my duty to protest injustice and malpractices, and The Hindu is crossing all limits.

First, they tried to force everyone to eat salads. Then they tried to make people do yoga, despite the risk of grave physical injury. Yoga is not something to be practised indiscriminately. Next time you’re having French fries at McDonald’s, look around you. You will see many people who definitely should not be attempting the Chaturbhangashan . Some facts are self-evident. Some people are built to do the Chaturbhangashan and some people are not. But does The Hindu ever carry any disclaimers with their propaganda? It does not. As the stress and strain of modern living jeopardises our mental condition, is it right or fair to promote Deepak Chopra, who once said, ‘Karma is just the mechanics through which consciousness manifests.’?

Now, as part of a desperate attempt to be trendy, they are promoting something called eco-friendly active wear. This is where we have to draw the line. It’s good to be eco-friendly. Being active keeps us healthy. But is there any need to combine the two? Throughout human history, people have been active without being eco-friendly. The Greeks conquered the world wearing skirts. Gandhi marched to Dandi in a dhoti. For over a decade, no one was more active than Usain Bolt. He was the fastest man on earth. As far as we know, he did not achieve this while wearing organic underwear. What’s the point in combining the two? Will it make us twice as trendy? On the other hand, this could be a case of re-branding, like when government schemes have their names changed into Hindi, thereby ensuring that this time they will work.

I realised this as I was on my morning walk yesterday, in between bouts of coughing. That’s when I understood that

The Hindu might be doing a good thing. I was wearing a cotton tee shirt, khaki shorts, cotton underwear, and canvas shoes, because I’m too cheap to buy sneakers. All of these are items which will quickly disintegrate when buried, causing Mother Nature no harm. Some of my older items of clothing are already doing this in my cupboard. I am already both active and eco-friendly. I thought I was just getting fitter, but I’m saving the planet too. I now feel much better about myself, thanks to The Hindu . I may have misjudged them. It was a simple trick of the mind. You can be trendier too, without making much effort. All you have to do is make minor cosmetic changes. The world will thank you, and the cotton will soothe your skin.

Shovon Chowdhury’s most recent novel, Murder With Bengali Characteristics , is set in a post-nuclear Bengal, where the fish supply is rapidly depleting