A middle-aged gentleman was keen on assisting his father put all his personal records in order. The elderly gentleman had, during his service, made several investments in various securities, and now owing to old age and illness, much of his records were in disarray. But the elderly man misconstrued the intent of his son and reprimanded him for interfering in his affairs. Such has happened to me sometimes, and I realise that the reason for the misconception is a lack of trust.
When we doubt one’s intention, particularly when the person attempting to help us has no personal gain in doing so, the effort of the helper is responded to with anger and irritation. Those attempting to help are faulted and distrusted.
The question that seeks an answer is, “What is it that makes each of us distrust the intent, when it is laced with goodness and positivity?” A mentor of mine said that the reason is either because the individual has been cheated at some point of time, or believes that people who attempt to help have a hidden agenda or are doing so out of obligation.
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All these however, he said, ‘need not be true’. One may want to help merely because one believes he can make a positive difference to the needy. Be more trusting, open and feel validated and appreciated.
TT Srinath is an organisational and behavioural consultant. He can be contacted at ttsrinath@gmail.com