Good Grief

Looking for a bridge over troubled water? Krithvi Shyam, our young psychologist, addresses your worst anxieties.

I am a college student and was in a relationship with a guy for the past five years. In between he broke up and was seeing another girl. I could not handle it and tried to commit suicide. He then came back to me. His parents know about this but in my house I was warned not to see him, and yet I could not stop loving him. Even though we got back — with him professing true love for me — I had my doubts. So whenever my call would be in call waiting, I would scold him. He even asked me not to call him after 9 pm, but whenever I gave him a call late in the night, it would be in call waiting. Because I was doubting him, he became very angry and broke up with me again. Now he is in a relationship with the other girl, who knows about me and doesn’t care. I still love him. Should I wait for him?

IN DOUBT

Even if you

were to wait for him to come back to you, this unhealthy circle of breakup-getting back together-doubting each other-breakup needs to stop. You haven’t mentioned what it is about him that makes you feel that pursuing such a relationship would be worthwhile. If he’s given you reasons to doubt him, and is now happy seeing another girl, then this is an indication that he has moved on, and it’s time you did as well.

Letting romantic relationships assume the largest priority in your life as a student is ill-advised. Good relationships can be extremely rewarding, but if they turn sour, thinking about suicide is not going to solve the issue. At this stage of your life, your growth in terms of education and career are what’s most important. Five years is a long time, so give yourself some time to recover; step out of the dating pool for a bit and focus on other priorities in your life.