What is the universal goal that we all share?
“I want to be happy.”
Take anyone. A small child wants to be happy; an old man wants to be happy too. In any continent across the world, every person wants to be happy. This is why many philosophies (and religions) promise some path to the destination of eternal happiness. Ultimately, happiness and unhappiness are experiences in our mind. That is why people feel happy for different reasons, in different surroundings, in different company. One person finds happiness in accumulating mansions and expensive cars. Another finds happiness in an austere life or serving others. One likes to be alone, another prefers to be surrounded by people. It depends on the mind.
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By nature, our mind moves without pause from one thought or feeling to the next. The mind’s distracted nature is always in evidence; just recall a time when you tried to concentrate or meditate — you would have found your mind wandering repeatedly. Happiness and unhappiness, like all other experiences, are transient. Happy moments pass, leaving behind pleasant memories. Unhappy moments usually pass too, leaving behind unpleasant memories. Consequently, you cannot feel happy all the time, however much you may want to. If something makes you happy, it will change and maybe annoy you, or your mind will change and you will grow dissatisfied with it over time. Just look at your life experience and that of others around you — you do not need me to convince you of this fact. Both the world outside and our mind inside change ceaselessly — that’s their nature. Happiness and unhappiness come and go in our mind, from minute to minute.
Ever-changing mind
Here’s another way to look at it. Our mind is excited and active when we are happy. Look at a child before her birthday party, or the mother waiting to see her son after a long time. But the mind cannot continue to remain like this all the time. There is a sense of excitement and anticipation driving the mind. Once the party is over or a week after the son has returned, the excitement fades, hopefully leaving behind a feeling of satisfaction instead. Of course, something unexpected may happen and the happiness may not even materialise, or may be mixed with unhappiness — the child may not receive the gift she expects, or the son may behave in a manner that displeases his mother. Even if everything goes wonderfully, it is not natural to remain in a state of excitement all the time — after a while, it is simply exhausting for the mind and body.
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“I want to be happy” is a temporary goal. “I want to be happy always” is an impossible goal.
So what is the possible goal?
I don’t want to be unhappy ever.
The natural progression is for excitement of happiness or pleasure to give way to a feeling of contentment. In other words, “being happy” is always temporary, but it may culminate in feeling fulfilled or content. When we feel satisfied our mind becomes restful. And, when we have that feeling of quietness or contentment, we are not unhappy — or at least, we are less unhappy.
It is undesirable, and probably impossible, to be in a state of excitement all the time, but it is possible to have a quiet or still mind all the time. Of course, that is not how we are usually, but it’s neither undesirable nor impossible.
It is correct to say, “I don’t want to be unhappy ever.”
What does it mean to be free of unhappiness? Not that we will lead an ecstatic pleasure-filled life all the time, for that is impossible through any means. It means that we are peaceful within; that we have restful contentment instead of the mental urge to chase something without a pause. This is a lasting goal. It is not just possible and desirable; it is absolutely essential if we are to have balance in our lives.