Keep your child safe

With increasing cases of child sexual abuse, an event in the city hopes to raise awareness among parents

The Pollachi All Women Police arrested a 31-year-old man in April for sexual assault on his nine-year-old stepdaughter. The same month, four men — including three minor boys and a 60-year-old — was arrested in Coimbatore for the rape of another nine-year-old. M Meenambigai, Inspector of Police, Thudiyalur Police Station says that such cases are not rare in the city. “We have registered nine cases in last six months in the Periyanaickenpalayam and Karumathampatti sub-division police stations alone,” she says.

Valai details

• When: June 9; 10:30 am
• Where: Bharathiya Vidya Bhavan, RS Puram
• Entry is free

“We read about such incidents very often and I think it is time that we look into this,” says Krishnan M, MD of Sri Krishna Sweets, which is organising Valai, an event to create awareness among parents and teenage girls on sexual crimes. Advocate Sumathi; Krithika Tharan psychologist and social activist; and L Balaji Saravanan, Assistant Commissioner (Law and Order) of the police department will be part of the panel that will discuss the issue.

“Krithika will speak about the physical changes that happen in the teenage years while Sumathi

will discuss how cases of abuse are dealt with in courts and Balaji will share the role of the police in these matters,” he says.

Parents should:

• Encourage children to confide in them. A child who communicates freely with his/her parents is likely to share information
• Never disbelieve or convince a child otherwise if he or she has complained about sexual abuse
• Stay calm when they reveal the details. Do not be emotional in front of the child
• Do a thorough background check of the people that your child interacts with
• Keep an eye on how even close family members or friends handle their children
• Never confront the perpetrator in front of the child
• Reach out to a qualified psychiatrist/psychologist

Sexual abuse can happen anywhere and by anyone. So what can be done to ensure the safety of children? “First parents should understand sexual abuse and accept that their child is also vulnerable to it. Teach them the names of private parts and explain about consent, touch and boundaries. Children are also sexual beings and so discuss age appropriate details of healthy sexuality with them,” says Vidya of Tulir Centre for the Prevention and Healing of Child Sexual Abuse, Chennai.

Understanding the child and creating an environment where children can have open conversation about anything without the fear of reproch is important. In most cases, the perpetrator is usually a family member or people well known to the family or child. It is very seldom that the perpetrator is a stranger.

“Research suggest that only 12-24% of the victims will disclose the incident. An abuser usually gain the child’s trust, and manipulate the child into complicity in the premeditated sexual activity,” she says.

Look out for

• Learning problems, inexplicable fall in academic grades, poor memory and concentration
• Reluctance to participate in physical or recreational activities
• Regression to younger behaviour, such as thumb-sucking, acting like a baby, bed-wetting and/or speech difficulties
• Tendency to cling or need constant reassurance
• Sudden accumulation of money or gifts
• Poor self-care/personal hygiene
• Depression, developing fears, phobias, anxieties, self injurious behaviour and illnesses like anorexia or bulimia
• Sexual knowledge, behaviour, or use of language not appropriate to age level
• Sexually abusive behaviour towards other children, particularly younger or more vulnerable than themselves
• Difficulty in walking or sitting, discomfort in urinating or defecating and recurrent urinary infections
• Evidence of physical trauma to the oral, genital or anal areas, manifested as bleeding, discharge, soreness or itching and bruising and other injury to breasts, buttocks and thighs and other parts
• Sexually transmitted disease in a child of any age
• Unexplained pregnancy

Sexual abuse is traumatic. “The child can feel powerless, lose trust in people around him/her and go into depression or have suicidal thoughts,” says J Nicolas Benedict, counselling psychologist, Naveen Hospital, Coimbatore. Parents should look any such signs in their child and “listen patiently and not get emotional before the child.”

Child Sexual Abuse is punishable under the Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Act, 2012. “Once we receive a complaint, an FIR is filed and the accused will be arrested. We also visit the crime scene and send the accused and victim for a medical check-up. The reports are then submitted to the Magistrate. It is a non-bailable offence and the punishment ranges from seven years to lifetime imprisonment,” says .

Dr Kezevino Aram, director of Shanti Ashram, adds that the growth of technology adds another dimension to the issue. “We must also contend with new and emerging challenges such as grooming, sexting, cyberbullying and the sexual exploitation of children over live webcam. In many countries, technology has moved faster than the State’s capacity to respond and countries still largely lack laws, policies, mechanisms and institutions to protect children from these serious risks,” she says.