‘I like to laugh and be happy’

Reading the note written by Mondi Rushikeshwari, a first-year student of ANU College of Architecture and Planning, before commiting suicide three days ago, is a wrenching experience.

Dated July 15, 2015, she titled it ‘My Last Note’: “Depression is not a sign of weakness, it means u stayed strong for a long time. I love u mom, I love u DAD, try to donate my organs if they are in good condition.’’

The student’s diary, accessed by

The Hindu, reveals Rushikeshwari as a happy-go-lucky girl with the same like and dislikes of the average fresher who was revelling in the experience of living away from home for the first time in her life and the pain and anger she felt at being bullied which she said was denying her the opportunity to pursue her dreams.

The entries are full of the love and affection she had for her parents.

``I like to laugh and be happy, but my cheerful nature has led to a problem,’’ begins the note. She went on to say that how her father loved her and how much she loved architecture.

``I left my home in Warangal to study in ANU but some of my seniors try to pull me away from studies and draw me into love. After I had denied their advances, they spread malicious rumours about me. Whenever I hear about those rumours, the smile on my face disappeared and I used to cry,’’ she wrote.

Rushikeswari goes on to say she has never hidden anything from her father. ``Nanna, I have never hidden anything from you but here I am hiding this from you after thinking about you. Whenever I hide these things from you, I experienced suffering and trauma.’’

Rushikeshwari’s diary reveals as a girl with a deeply sensitive and thoughtful nature