It is a particularly humid day at Delhi’s Jamia Millia Islamia University where two young Kashmiris students recount their experiences of visiting home after the withdrawal of special status to Jammu and Kashmir. The mood is light and often an unrestrained laughter accompanies a rather serious story from back home because, they say, “Kashmir is used to it”.
Uzair Simnani, an MA graduate from Jamia’s Centre for Peace and Conflict Resolution, visited home in Srinagar, four days after August 5.
“I was one among the lucky few who managed to go home. I can’t imagine what it would be like for those who could not,” he said. Ibrahim Mehraj, a third-year law student JML who was at home when the decision was announced, agreed.
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In addition to emotion, there is an air of tired surrender among these Kashmiri youth.
According to Shiraz (name changed), a 20-year-old political science student at a university in the Capital, “Now, people only ask ‘What do we have to do’. They’ve fought a long time and are tired.” The fatigue is evident.
Once ardent supporters of the ‘idea of India’, the students’ disappointment in the Indian State is evident but not on display. They exercise care not to exhibit either their apprehensions or their persistent fear of ‘being watched’.
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“Kashmir is in an Emergency, without one being declared,” Mr. Mehraj said adding that the government’s decision had, in fact, forced those who believed in the idea of India and those who didn’t to unite.
Amya (name changed), a second-year MA literature student at Jamia agreed, “There are only two kinds of people: those who feel betrayed and those who can say, ‘I told you so’. They have been united..”
When the decision was announced, she was home for summer vacations in Baramulla where her father is a political science professor.
Communication blackout
Before returning to Delhi on August 25, Ms. Amya wanted to speak to her psychiatrist. But, after being unable to do so due to the communication blackout. She discontinued her prescribed medicines since she was unsure of continuing them. Last week, she was hospitalised after an anxiety attack of which her father could only learn three days later.
Another Kashmiri student in Delhi, on condition of anonymity, shared the story of a man who suffered fatal injuries after a fall and passed away due to lack of medical attention. “The only person in the house was his daughter-in-law who couldn’t call anyone so she ran to get help. It was not enough,” he said.
Mr. Mehraj claimed that in some parts of Kashmir, the government had deliberately cut off water supply for days. “I managed to get them 20 litre of water cans only because my cousin runs a store. Imagine those who lived without drinking water all that while,” he added.
In Kashmir, Ms. Amya said, one was used to a certain kind of fear. “In India, the fear is different,” she said adding that her mother cautioned her against getting into arguments. “These times are hard for us. I expect everyone to understand to whatever extent that they can,” she said with a sense of hope.
Shiraz said he wouldn’t go “as far” as to say that he was safe. “They want to ask questions and not listen to the answers,” he argued. Aejaz Ahmad Rather, a PhD candidate at JNU said that he had deliberately restricted his movement. “The campus is safe but I do not know what to expect outside,” he said, adding that since August 5, he had tried to go home but “as a political person” feared “getting arrested”.
On the 36th day of the lockdown in the Valley, he received a call from his sister who, he said, had to travel 10 kilometres to access a phone. “There was a numbness in her voice; I could sense the fear,” he added. Two of his friends who went home carried a message for his parents but he hasn’t heard from them since they left Delhi.
Talking about her visit home to Ahmednagar in Srinagar, Samira, (name changed), 24, a final-year law student at Jamia
said she could speak only once to her mother who had to drive an hour away to her grandfather’s house to access a telephone. “I feel guilty of having a cellphone if I cannot talk to those I love,” she said.