For most Hyderabadis, Metro is the closest we muggles will ever get to apparate or disapparate in this lifetime. Throwing a lifeline to those long distance commuters who spent half of their paychecks on medical bills owing to bad backs and slipped discs, Metro finally heralded what public transportation always promised: quick, reliable and efficient service.
As the city begins to chug along with the rhythm of the Metro, it brings in its own set of quirks. While days of commuters on public transport becoming friends are long gone (I still am in touch with my ‘bus friends’ in the 90s from 40D, the only direct bus from Malakpet to King Koti), Metro brings with it an interesting parable of characters whom you can either love or loathe but just cannot turn away from.
Here are five ‘types’ of people one runs into on the Hyderabad Metro and our tips to deal with them. While toe-crushers and seat grabbers are the norm, these are the most common co-passengers we’ve had to travel with (and survive) just to avoid the chaos of traffic common to our city.
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The ‘Jabardasth’ Fan
What’s worse, a show that celebrates relentless sexism, patriarchy and parochialism or that it has a cult following? What’s even worse is that the Metro seems a Jabardasth-Con all times of the day and all days of the week.
With videos of the show played on full volume (head phones are so passe, right?) and guffawing patrons, it is a free for all with gushing co-passengers usually joining in the revelry. No matter what the time or the size of the crowds, nothing deters the viewers from binge watching or grinning like they won the Nobel. We wonder why data connectivity issues never seem to plague some people…
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Tip: There is no winning with them so your best option is to seek refuge in a different compartment
The Gatekeepers
There are some commuters who refuse to check out the insides of the compartments. Intent and content, to stand right at the doors (along with their bag, baggage and babies) one wonders if this is how even the entrance to Heaven is guarded. Or if they took a cue from the sentries who guardian the fabled treasure in the Ananta Padmanabhaswamy temple.
Whether their destination is the next stop or the last one, whether its Paradise or Punjagutta, whether the train is full or empty, they nary give a thought for their co-passengers who might be a teeny bit inconvenienced with having to elbow past them when getting off. you might just want to tip your hat at them for their dedication and determination to plonk themselves, right at the entrance. . After all, getting in at Nagole and standing at the same spot till Hi-tech city requires some perseverance! , and at times you might just want to tip your hat at them. Or strangle them, if you want to get off but cannot.
Tip: Nothing deters them, so you might as well move away and fight your battle when your station arrives.
Eager Beavers
Now, this tribe is found both on the platforms as well as on the train. Belonging to all age groups and walks of life, making them very tricky to avoid, they are chaotic, confused and clearly in a rush. Always. Jostling with everything and anything that comes in their way, armed with their bags for weapons. Perhaps wars were fought with less fervour when compared with an Eager Beaver on a quest to get in or get out.
Tip: Patience is the only virtue to deal with them. Practice your Pranayam before you get onto the Metro.
Music addicts
They are the most benign group of commuters, found in the 48 stations the Metro stops at. Always hooked on to their earphones and gently swaying from side to side, they are young, always upbeat and listen to everything from Altaf Raja to AR Rahman. We don’t judge their music in taste, as it doesn’t penetrate our ear drums.
Tip: They are the most harmless group on the list. We only hope that their tribe grows provided they don’t forget their ear phones!
Loud college students
As you get on in life (like us) you wonder what is the need to sound so chirpy at 8 am in the morning. But then, these young knots of students are the hardest to avoid as they are the loudest. Full of banter and bonhomie, these groups are unfathomably always energetic and unnecessarily happy. Oh, and they are forever in the selfie/groupie mode, so you get to photobomb their pictures whether you like it or not.
Tip: There is no escaping them on either the Blue or Red line (much like whatsapp forwards or sexist wife jokes), so just take refuge in your grandmother’s advice: what cannot be cured must be endured.