Of innumerable mistakes and love stories

In the recent weeks, I came across at least three people who believed that I was a  crorepati  — a millionaire. The reason behind their belief: writers these days are rolling in money, and since I have written not one but three books, I must be sitting on a mountain of cash.

Their words ring in my ears — and make me smile — when I step out of home in the hot sun to buy something as mundane as bread and eggs, or a hundred grams of green chilli (just because the wife would have forgotten to pick up the chilli while shopping the evening before), or when I stand by the road and wait for an autorickshaw (I have a car but I don’t know how to drive, and I get to sit in it only when I am accompanying the wife on an outing).

I don’t blame those people for believing that I lead a lavish life. Today, writing is seen as a hugely profitable business, thanks to the stupendous commercial success enjoyed by a handful of writers, most of who write for the masses. The less-fortunate writers — the ones who haven’t made three mistakes in their lives, or who don’t have a love story to tell — would be living below poverty line if they relied solely on writing as a source of living.

The math is simple: a first-time writer is usually entitled to 7.5 per cent of the cover price of the book as royalty, which means if the book is priced at Rs. 300, the writer makes Rs. 22.50 for each copy sold. Even if the book sells 10,000 copies — which is a huge achievement and can take up to five years — the writer makes only Rs. 2.25 lakh. An income of Rs. 2.25 lakh over five years: that works out to Rs. 3,750 a month — less than what your watchman earns.

But there are books that sell 10,000 copies within five hours of hitting the stands — leave alone five days or weeks or years — and they are the ones that talk about the three mistakes one made in life, about having a love story, about losing weight.

I have made innumerable mistakes in my life, I have so many love stories to tell, I know the precise solution to losing weight — eat less, exercise more — and still I am not a 

crorepati  yet. I have clearly been barking up the wrong tree.