Last night, I was at a friend’s house, where I met a fellow mum whose son is also twelve. The conversation soon meandered into how these little people have grown up so much — and so fast — and just how difficult it is to handle them.
Her younger one, all of eight, who accompanied the mother, had his hair falling all over his eyes. I couldn’t even see which way he was looking. When I playfully pushed the boy’s locks back, the mother whined: “I’ve given up on telling him to keep his hair out of his eyes.” At this, the boy snapped back, “It’s my hair, ma . I can do whatever I want with it.”
I can’t remember having talked back to my parents at such a young age. But today’s children are a different breed. After all, families have changed: they come in different shapes and sizes and do different things; they all share joys and sorrows, sometimes in very close quarters.
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This piece is for my little big people. Etiquette is important to building strong family relationships. When you get home, do not leave respect, honesty and consideration at the door. They only help strengthen family ties and make time spent with your loved ones that much better.
Here are some simple ways you can make the family zone a happy place.
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Parents are ‘out of it’ because you are leaving them out. Talk to them. Talk to your siblings. Clue them into what is going on in your life and show interest in what is going on in theirs.
Respect privacy : Everyone wants space these days. We do not like people barging into our rooms without knocking or reading our diaries or opening our mail. The last thing we want is someone reading messages on our phones. Hell would break loose if your mother reads a message from your friend. I discovered that the boy spoke a completely different language in his chats and when asked he told me that I had ‘snooped’ on him. If you’re not sure whether something is an invasion of privacy, it is best to ask yourself how you would feel if someone did that to you.
Sharing spaces : Every home has shared spaces, the kitchen, the living room, the family room, the dining room or the bathroom. In shared spaces, you must balance your personal styles — neat or messy, simple or cluttered — or you will be at one another’s throats every day.
As I write this, the familiar pictures of the socks and school bag lying in the living room, the wet towel on the bed and the toothpaste lying open with the cap by the shower area, flash in front of my eyes. I’ve come to a point where I sound like a record that only says ‘put this away’, ‘put that away’ on repeat throughout the day. Sharing the work is a must to keep the spaces liveable. This includes picking up, cleaning up and taking your own things back to your room. Sharing space means more than just physical space — consider televisions, electronic games, computers, volume and channel controls too.
(Next week: Bathroom wars and how to fight fair)
(A weekly column in which Sulakshana Badani will answer your queries related to etiquette. Write to her at staystylish24x7@gmail.com)