I spied what I thought was a biggish beetle on my friend’s daughter’s wrist the other day while she gesticulated wildly to make a point. The flailing of her arms made identification a little difficult, but I still shrieked, ‘A beetle!’ and involuntarily performed a lightning backward leap. ‘There, on your wrist.’
She took one nonchalant look, laughed, and corrected me, ‘No, it’s a spider.’ That alarmed me. ‘Then brush it off! It’s no laughing matter.’ I’d have done it myself with a beetle but I draw the line at spiders. They give me the jitters.
‘No, no, it’s a tat,’ she said. ‘Come on, now, make up your mind!’ I protested. ‘And what, anyway, is a tat?’ I thought I hadn't heard right. Maybe some pertly named exotic insect? ‘That!’ she held out her wrist. ‘Tat, short for tattoo. This tarantula is just a harmless tattoo.’
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A harmless tattoo? It’s one of the unexplained mysteries of the world that while one half of the population in this beauty conscious age is frantically getting rid of skin blemishes through cauterisation or cosmetic surgery, the other half is busy creating them by voluntarily inking itself, and how!
Take, for instance, the World Cup’s football stars. Much is being written about them but more intriguing is what’s written on them – yes, the tattoos which, if one might use that word, ‘adorn’ their bodies.
Footballers, more than players of any other sport, have, like the sailors of old, taken to wholesale tattooing. Their necks, arms and legs are decorated with tattoos. So too are their shoulders, backs and chests, visible when they flaunt them as they change their shirts in public. They wear their hearts on their arms; their ecstasies are recorded on their skins and strangely enough, so are their agonies.
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Mauricio Pinilla, the Chilean player whose shot at the goal in the final minute against Brazil in the current World Cup hit the cross bar instead, immortalised that traumatic miss by having the scene tattooed on his back with the caption, ‘One centimetre from glory.’ Now why would anyone do that? Is it a form of self-flagellation, a painful reminder of his ‘sin’ that prevented Chile from entering the quarter finals? Does he wish to carry his guilty burden on his back forever? Or is this his way of putting it behind him, literally?
Spain’s Sergio Ramos displayed the tattoo of the World Cup on his lower leg, a glorious reminder of the 2010 victory which quickly turned into an ironic image of over confidence when Spain limped out at the group stage itself this year. The ‘Fé’ inscribed on Neymar’s arm, a good luck charm that means ‘Faith’ in Portuguese, is another tattoo gone wrong.
Names of wives and girl friends are popular choices for tattoos, quickly inked over when the relationship turns sour. Tim Cahill of Australia carries his family tree on him. Autobiographical tattoos may well have their uses. In case of temporary amnesia or if the brain is dulled by a header too many, they can be used for ready reference. ‘What’s the name of your son?’ ‘Just a minute, let me check the inside of my arm. Ah, yes, here it is!’
The most inked man at this World Cup, Raul Meireles of Portugal, is believed to have had tears in his eyes during his latest protracted tattoo session. For tattoos are not just a pain to behold; tattooing is a painful, expensive process and if not done expertly, could cause allergies and infection. Mitchell Johnson of Australia, one of the few cricketers who, like Flintoff and Pietersen, chose this mode of self-expression, is believed to have missed a one-day series because of an infected elbow, probably a result of tattooing.
Yes, tattoos have come a long way from being cultural symbols or medical requirements in the ancient world to becoming a modern fashion statement, proudly displayed by pop stars, sports idols and other youth icons and mindlessly imitated by their fans.
‘Why don’t you get rid of it?’ I asked my friend’s daughter, almost pleadingly. ‘I know it’s not easy...’ Laser treatment removes most tattoos, but is costlier and more painful than getting a tattoo done. Fashion does make fools of us all.
‘Well, this one is,’ she said, peeling the tarantula off. It was a stick on tattoo and I had been completely taken in... Ta ta to tattoo!