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A few good men

Updated - November 10, 2021 12:33 pm IST

Published - July 24, 2015 03:52 pm IST - chennai:

When you are Vladimir Putin, you have an army that’s willing to do anything for you. Including taking clothes off. When you’re Putin, you become a brand that’s used to sell anything from vodka to caviar. When you’re Putin, you casually take a stroll with a tiger, and swim bare-chested in the cold depths of a Siberian river. You’re basically a total badass. Of course, being a former spy helps too.

It isn’t surprising then that his approval ratings have hit record levels — 87 per cent of Russians say they have a positive view of him. Only frenemy Merkel comes close at 67 per cent.

At the other end of the spectrum lies Presidential hopeful Donald Trump. When you’re Trump, you not only name-call opponents, but also fellow Republicans. And so much, that there exists a Donald Trump insult generator, guaranteed to help you put to good waste, at least 30 minutes of your time.

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See, when you’re Trump, you’re not only an example of the great American success story, but also a great American troll. Consider these remarks: “My twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth” and “The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.” When you’re Trump, you only smoke the good stuff that makes you talk like this. When you’re Trump, you’re “the patron saint of topical comedians who are just running out the clock,” according to Jon Stewart. When you’re Trump, you always suffer from a serious case of verbal diarrhoea.

But when you’re Anthony Weiner — with a name like that it’s tough to be anything but the butt of all jokes — you become the most unlikely candidate: as that of a disgraced politician who now saves people from their scandals.

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