“Like charity, gender sensitivity also begins at home. For instance, when we caution our girls to come back home before it gets dark, we are only instilling fear in them, that someone will get them if they are out so late. So the girl grows up thinking it’s all her fault if she steps out in the dark and suffers any violence. It would be so much better if we taught our sons that both men and women have a duty to behave themselves, whether under cover of darkness or not. It would be so much better if we taught our daughters self reliance.
Societies and governments all over the world evolve laws to check truant behaviour. We have learnt that might is not right, and have also realised that we should be tolerant of opposing views. Change always meets with resistance. The challenge here is not to just change things, but to change attitudes.
Women entrepreneurs, teachers, industrialists, homemakers are all the agencies of change. They can make gender equality a reality at work and at home and ensure that it permeates all the way down to the domestic help.
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Once women treat each other with respect, the men have no choice but to do likewise. Children raised on this menu will be sensitive to their spouses and colleagues.
At the work space, I have sometimes found confused young women reeling under the pressure of maintaining a balance between home and work. They have no examples to learn from, since most of them are the first generation of bread winners. Mentoring by successful seniors can be immensely helpful.
“Bread winning” and “Care giving” are two vital streams in any family. Our future lies in recognising that they are equally important and men and women are equally responsible for both. An Inspector General of Police wanted a smart lady superintendent in one of his districts who had just returned from maternity leave, to command the Parade on Republic Day. The young IPS officer was proud that she was asked, but she had to decline the honour. The IG was exasperated with her. But when he got home, his wife explained to him the problems a young lactating mother would have standing for three hours in the sun for the parade.
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After the recent spurt in reports of sexual abuse, some schools have introduced sex education. I was very pleased until a 7th grader told me that at sex education class, she was told that she must always find friends to wait with her after school until her auto arrives to take her home!
Sex education is not about teaching the sexes to stay away from each other. It is about helping them shed awkwardness and teaching them to be comfortable about their bodies and the changes they will face, and providing them with a coping mechanism. If we can do that, there will be no more gender vulnerability, only gender differences. Men and women will effortlessly evolve into gentlemen and ladies and the law can take the right course.