Bubbly, effervescent and chirpy — that was Pooja Bedi actor, talk-show host, social activist, agony aunt, founder of Grass Roots Foundation, hands-on mom, single parent, all rolled into one, speaking at the Duchess Club meeting recently. The event was organised to coincide with World Health Day. Juggling her numerous roles with ease and packing in a rocking social life, Pooja — by her own admission — “operates best when there is chaos all around” her. Handing out a sort of primer for women, containing the mantras she lived by (it wasn't entirely new stuff!) Pooja kept the audience engaged.
Here was a woman who actually wanted to be a Wall Street stockbroker, but twists and turns in life brought her to show biz.
“Be inspired by yourself and your potential. Remember, you matter,” she said. For a majority of Indian women, their identity is as a daughter, sister, mother… Women should be people in their own right. Although things have changed vastly, and women can now hang out in coffee shops, unlike 20 years ago, India is still a country where several centuries co-exist at the same time, she said.
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She asked the women how many of them prayed for a girl child, and saw quite a few hands go up. It was important to have more girl children, for, sex-related crimes could be traced back to diminishing sex ratio and repressed male sexual energy, she said.
To women who have to slog all day at home and outside, she said: “What you can't do you must delegate.” What about having to act like men to make a mark? “You can be a woman and be just as successful. Keep that essence, your femininity and that delicate, lovely side. “Attitude is what matters. No problem is as great as your attitude to the problem. Instead of ruing something gone wrong, look at it as a great learning experience.”
Small wonder, Pooja, with kids in tow, attended her ex-husband Farhan's second marriage to Laila, and surprised everyone with the hugs and happiness all around. “Being divorced is not losing a family member; remarriage means an extra family member.” She is best friends with her ex, and on cordial terms with his mother whom she can bank on for “taking the kids out” once in a while.
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The mother-in-law-daughter-in-law dynamic was not left out either. “Here's the message for mothers-in-law — if you craved something and were denied it, make sure your daughters-in-law have it.” And, a word of advice for the daughter in law followed — “Don't grudge in-laws. Respect them for the position. They offer a great support system — the kids are safe and loved.”
Urging women to use their role to change society, she wanted them to go out there, and help other women. Like one of her own mantras — “to put the spark back”, Pooja ‘sparked' up a warm, summer morning for the Duchess Club hosts.