Good Grief

Looking for a bridge over troubled water? Krithvi Shyam, our young psychologist, addresses your worst anxieties.

Ihave been in love with a South Indian guy for the last two years. He lives in Chennai, while I live in Mumbai. I wanted to move to Chennai after finishing school, but i couldn’t because my parents came to know about our relationship and are against it. They are afraid about what the society will think and moreover, he has not told his parents about us yet.

He is asking me to come to Chennai, but how can I? I told him to wait till I establish my career — I want to be an IAS officer. But he says that he cannot wait and that he’ll marry the girl his parents choose. I’m worried. We love each other a lot but sometimes he gets angry. I cannot imagine my life with anybody else. Please help me. -

DAZED AND CONFUSED

Your boyfriend might say he loves you, but if he thinks the best way to express love is to place ultimatums like “Forget about your IAS dreams or I’ll forget about you”, then he’s going about it all wrong.

It sounds like you are in your first or second year of college; so you have many factors to consider if and when you decide to move to Chennai (e.g.: your family’s support, his family’s acceptance, your financial independence, pursuing a career etc.). In other words, you shouldn’t be considering this relationship at all. This is the time for you to be focussing on your studies. Do not waste your energy on a person who apparently has no patience to support yours goals.

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