Puja Talwar’s book “Bebbe Diaries”, due to be released in March, was the subject of an engaging discussion at the recent New Delhi World Book Fair.
The author was in conversation with Dipa Chaudhuri, editor of the book. Giving an overview of the book, Dipa said it is about a Punjabi girl in a big city who is professionally accomplished and now looks for a suitable boy. But the dilemma she faces after innumerable experiences is whether marriage is really important to attain true happiness in life.
The discussion proceeded looking at the life of a woman over 30 who has to face judgmental looks from her friends, family and the society as a whole when she reveals her unmarried status.
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Dipa said, “Even the famous actress Suhasini Mulay got married at the age of 60. She sets an example of a strong independent woman who did not get affected by the questioning eyes of the society but took her decision to get married in her own sweet time.”
She stressed the idea of a single women facing questions like “When are you settling down?” and taunts like “Get married before it’s too late,” or “You will end up staying alone,” all indicative of a lot of insensitivity on the part of Indian society. “It’s like irrespective of her own identity or her accomplishments individually, she can only be respected if she is married. A girl is imagined to have some problem if she refuses to get married or chooses her independence or work over marital ties.”
On the idea of finding true love and true happiness, Puja, a reporter on the news channel NDTV, retorted, “No one can complete you. You should be the reason of your own happiness and not anybody else. Moreover, having unrealistic expectations can only lead to disappointment.”
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Dipa added, “A single woman lives in a society which is culturally indoctrinated and is made to believe that it is compulsory to have a man in life in order to feel accomplished spiritually and financially.”
The session ended on the note that one should not seek happiness by being “single, double or triple” but by learning to value oneself and one’s desires, dreams and wants.