First, I get elbowed in the ribs. Then, a particularly beefy man absent-mindedly stands on my foot. Before I can say ‘owch’, a diva in high heels totters past, unceremoniously shoving me out of the way. So much for my plans of spending a glamorous Saturday night at Chennai’s newest ‘it’ bar. It feels more like being trapped in a David Attenborough documentary on the migration of the wildebeest.
Nevertheless, my friends and I bravely persevere, fighting through the churning melee to find ourselves a table. Justin Timberlake blares in the background, and the music is so mind-numbingly loud we quickly give up on conversation. Behind us, a gang of boisterous 20-somethings order flaming shots, screaming with terrified delight. We roll our eyes cynically. “Amateurs,” my world-weary friend mutters. “Don’t they realize it just burns off the alcohol?” “And just where are they all going?” snaps another friend, glaring at the restlessly circulating crowd. “John Legend?” growls another angrily, as the inevitable track du jour ‘All of me’ begins to play and young things raise their arms singing along ecstatically. “Such a sappy couple-cliché.”
The service, fortunately, is excellent. A particularly chirpy waiter takes charge of our large table of ten, spinning from order to order with cheerful efficiency. We do, however, disappoint him with our inexplicably puritan approach to alcohol. “Flaming shots?” he twinkles. No. “Flaming cocktails?” No. “Just a simple, little, regular shot of tequila?” he asks beseechingly. No. He pauses and looks wistfully at the next, infinitely more accommodating table featuring the screaming flaming cocktail gang (who are now busy taking selfies for their Facebook profiles) and droops sadly for a minute. Fortunately, he bounces back quickly, with big bowls of golden fries. They’re smothered in everything from gooey melted cheese to juicy minced meat. We also order a flurry of starters to go with our beers. The specialty here is their chicken wings, generously doused in a morish spicy-sweet sauce.
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My main course – a chilli dog – is disappointing because of the mediocre sausage, which tastes of little besides salt, water and defeat. The burgers look impressive but aren’t particularly memorable as the patty is dry. The Philly cheese steak sub, however, is tasty – packed with a generous, unsteady pile of lush, thickly sliced, barbequed meat interspersed with cheese and sauce.
In order to get a better fix on the food and ambience, I return mid-week, because this seems like the ideal place for a laidback post work drink.
People start filtering in by 7 p.m. and it’s soon packed. The music is an inexplicable mix of what sounds like howling death metal with an unexpected Bruce Springsteen track thrown in. I’m with colleagues, and we desperately try to trade office gossip by yelling over squealing electric guitars. The music gets louder and louder – and by 9, we give up and take our gossip to the dimly lit street outside.
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Our food is good for the most part. Potato skins loaded with cream and bacon bits. (Not for the faint hearted.) Addictively peppery shredded beef. And that Philly sub again. The only disappointment is a plate of leathery pork chops. And the draught beer, which is flat. We switch to whisky cocktails spiked with marmalade.
Plan B in Chennai (the original Plan B is in Bangalore) seems confused about its identity. With cheese-laden comfort food and competitively priced alcohol, it makes for an ideal neighbourhood pub. The nondescript setting and deliberate grunge (industrial interiors, exposed brick walls) indicate that it also wants to be seen as a ‘dive’ bar. (That’s how they describe themselves online.) But the pounding music, flaming shots and confused playlist suggest night club ambitions. Hopefully they’ll make up their mind soon. Luckily, till then, they have a charming team of waiters to keep customers coming. Dramatic flaming shots for the Facebookers. And that Philly steak sub.
Plan B is at 65/5, Murugesan Naicker Complex, Greams Road. A meal for two costs roughly Rs. 800. For detail, call 7358398659