…get any girl to go out with you

New Delhi: A couple seen enjoying thier day out on Valentine Day at Cannought Place, in New Delhi on February, 14, 2012.Photo:Sushil Kumar Verma

Pick the right time . The difference between getting a rakhi tied on your hand and a friendship band is just a matter of days this season. If you have really reached a dead end and don’t have anyone you can ask out, maybe it’s time to prepare yourself for a rakhi. Getting a new sister is always a good idea because having a sister means access to her friends. Hence, choose a sister with the prettiest friends.

Script a meet cute . Love stories always sell because of how boy meets girl. So you need a solid meet cute story. One that is so memorable that it makes you a legend in her circles. Even if it means taking a cauliflower in a bouquet with green peas for decorations.

Add sweet corn for extra colour . Make sure you write something funny to go with it: Presenting, the corniest gift ever. You make me hungry. Peas forgive me or Here’s my peas offering. She will obviously laugh at you until her friends tell her that is cute, even if corny.

The misdirection : Every pretty girl has at least one friend who is prettier than her or someone she thinks is prettier. So here’s what you do. Give the girl you like 100 bucks. “Yes. I am bribing you. Set me up with your pretty friend and I will give you anything you want.” Obviously, she won’t be able to but at least you have an excuse to talk to her on a frequent basis and finally, you can always tell her she failed and now she has to stand in as your date to make up. Once she does show up, make her feel special. This is victory for her because she now thinks she has scored over her pretty friend by converting someone who had a crush on her friend to someone who now has a crush on her.

The pick up line : Don’t ever try it. That is the surest way to not get a girl. The only way you can go anywhere near it is asking them if they have ever fallen for a pick up line and ask them to rate each line for you (there are many websites you can just lift lines off... linesthataregood.com for example). She would surely laugh at many of them. But women like men who make them laugh. Once you are done halfway, ask if you can just do the rest of it over coffee. Be direct.

Fail safe : Buy up the opening show of the next

Twilight movie. Now you have all the tickets, make sure everyone on Facebook and Twitter knows about this. Now, you control who sits where. You can get any girl to sit with you. But the flip side is: it could be any girl.