Hisamuddin
We live in a joint family spanning four generations. Generally, eighty-year-olds and twenty-year-olds live on different planes. While youngsters view the world with rose-tinted glasses, elders take most things with a pinch of salt. Accommodating divergent views is the biggest challenge facing a multi-layered family. From the youngest to the oldest, everyone gets a hearing in our family.
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We have a tradition of discussing major issues over a meal. The dining table is full when having to decide on a school admission, purchase of a car, or a holiday.
Hisamuddin
She is a buffer between different sections of the family.
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Parveen
Two principles help me play different roles without being partial to anyone. While in a state of agitation, I refrain from uttering a word. I try to be humane to everyone. Believe me, treating daughters-in-law as daughters contributes greatly to harmony in a family. We have two daughters-in-law, and have seen this attitude do wonders.
Hisamuddin
She has an instinctive understanding of the dynamics of human relationships. While dealing with people, I often take a leaf out of her book. Seeing my maternal grandfather discipline his children with an iron hand, I decided I would not do the same to mine. I have been more of a buddy to my children. Late in the day, I realised that my maternal grandfather and I represent two extreme views on parenting. A parent can’t accede to a child’s whims. As I have been the easy-going and friendly parent for a long time, I can’t change my parenting style now and confuse the children. Parveen is another reason why I continue being lenient. Parveen has the qualities missing in me. Just by glowering at them, she can make our children fall in line.
Parveen
He may have gone easy on the kids, but he set high standards for them through personal example.