Have a selfish New Year!

When I was a child, holidays were all about new clothes, sweets, food, crackers, sweets, relatives, time off from school, sweets. It's the same even today, except, I don't get off work and we don't force ourselves to buy new clothes. Think about it — most of us consume the spirit of the season all for ourselves and our families. Selfish, selfish. Maybe you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but the puppies? As a parent you have this fabulous opportunity to use special occasions to instil the importance of Giving, in your kids.

Let's be real though. You're not going to get very far if you strip them of their pocket money right off the bat. A great start would be to point out that a lot of things they do already fall into the Giving category. Greeting a neighbour genuinely, feeding a street dog biscuits, knowing the watchman's name and respectfully calling him ‘Uncle' — all these count. Closet clean-up is the next easy thing. Have a merciless rule — anything not used for over six months goes out. You'll be amazed at the size of the bundle that goes to charity. Then we graduate to something bigger.

Let your kids choose their own causes. Have a little chat to figure out what affects them in the world they see. Accordingly, present them with a volunteering opportunity they'll enjoy. I know, your instinct would be to shield your kids from the wrongs of the world, but trust me; there are sensitive, age-appropriate ways to do this. The idea is to not portray these issues as unsolvable and scary, but as opportunities to make a difference. For example, skip the horrors of global warming and instead tell them how litter in the neighbourhood will eat up their regular play areas. You'll drive the point home. Other than the obvious, there is a scientific thumbs-up to this too. Charitable involvement has been shown to help raise self-esteem, develop social skills, foster an introduction to the greater world and encourage kids to appreciate their own lifestyle. I mean, what wouldn't you give to have a cleaner house, and get your kid to stop cribbing about his room's air-conditioning and pestering you to upgrade his phone! So, yes, you got me. There is a selfish motive to all this. But this kind of selfishness — I say, bring it on!

singersuchi@gmail.com

(A fortnightly column on relationships)