“Your curls look so nice on you,” says Mahima, my niece.
“But I hate them,” I reply.
I can’t really take a compliment well. I’ve always struggled with it and am not the best giver of compliments either.
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Most often, we expect to hear something about what we’ve done when it’s bad or unacceptable. May be, it’s just the way we’re conditioned. Sometimes, a compliment can go both ways.
With the overdose of comments on social media, it’s really hard to tell whether someone is genuinely being nice or if the comment is laced with sarcasm. And then there are others who will compliment you only because they want one in return.
Here’s how you can master the art of giving and receiving a compliment:
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Think of it as a gift: Whenever someone compliments you, say something polite in reply. A simple ‘thank you’ accompanied with a smile is the most gracious way to accept the compliment and move forward.
Avoid arguing: When someone tells you something they like about you or what you’ve done, it’s a natural tendency to tell them how unworthy of it you are. This creates awkwardness. The person praising you has to justify why she gave it, and it goes back and forth.
Use it as a conversation starter: A compliment is a good way to start a conversation with someone known or unknown.
If you’re a speaker at an event and someone compliments a particular part of what you shared, you could continue from there by asking his views on the subject. This makes him feel comfortable and establishes a rapport.
Reciprocate: When you receive a compliment, compliment the person back in a way that relates to what she has said. A few of my friends carry themselves very well. When I receive a compliment from them on the way I’ve dressed, my reply is, “Such a lovely compliment coming from someone who is always so stylish; I feel flattered.”
Share the compliment: If your team performed well, especially in a sport where you’re the captain, you should direct attention to all your teammates and those who you feel played a pivotal role in the team’s success.
If it makes you smile, mention it: There are some days when everything seems to go wrong, right from the time you wake up to what you make and getting to work. On such a day, if you receive a compliment from someone for a kind gesture or something you did earlier and it brings a smile, let he/she know how it brightened up your day.
Thank the person: The best way to acknowledge a compliment is to show your appreciation immediately. You could always follow it up with a ‘thank you’ note or email if it made a significant difference.
Remember that accepting a compliment doesn’t make you conceited in any way. It’s the beginning of an interaction between you and someone who admires you or what you’ve done.
Smile, acknowledge and reciprocate. Everyone loves to be noticed for something nice, and a compliment is the perfect way to make a boring day cheerful and motivate you to do better.
The author is an image consultant.
(Write to me at staystylish24x7@gmail.com)