‘I can laugh at myself’

The Proust Questionnaire is a fortnightly feature that alternates with the Saturday interview. These questions were most famously answered by the French writer Marcel Proust, whose personality-revealing responses came to define this form of celebrity confession. This fortnight’s questionnaire was administered by Vaishna Roy features Kalki Koechlin

What is your idea of happiness?

A big house, a fancy car, hot men falling at my feet, plenty of money and a severely underdeveloped cerebrum.

What is your greatest fear?

Becoming a burden on someone else.

What is your favourite virtue?

The ability to laugh at myself.

What is the principal aspect of your personality?

Honesty, anger, idealism, depression, and the curse or boon of feeling them all at the same time.

What is your main fault?

Dissatisfaction and criticism, mostly of myself, sometimes of those I love dearly, and not nearly enough of the rest of the world.

For what fault do you have the most tolerance?

Obsession, because I feel it always stems from passion.

What do you hate the most?

Dishonesty. In its simplest form, lying (not to be confused with using your imagination) and in its most complicated form, living a lie.

What would be your greatest misfortune?

To be so emotionally tormented that you become numb to love.

What is your most treasured possession?

My notebooks.

What is your favourite colour?

Green for now. It changes with age.

If not yourself, who would you be?

Someone else with their own set of problems.

Who are your favourite poets?

e.e. cummings, Jacques Prévert, Charles Bukowski, Sylvia Plath.

What is the military event you admire the most?

I saw an air show by the Army on Independence Day when I was a teenager. The pilots were admirable.

What is the reform you admire the most?

Educational reform, of which we see too little in India.

Which talent would you most like to have?

Detachment, to be able to remain cool under pressure.

Which character in world history do you most despise?

The right answer would be Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini, Idi Amin, and the list could go on and on, but can you despise without having been directly affected by someone? I don’t think so. You can only judge those characters.

What is your favourite food and drink?

Butter chicken and red wine, but not together.

What is your present state of mind?

Frazzled from having to answer these questions.

How would you like to die?

Suddenly, quickly and painlessly.