All too often, I have students come into my office in the final week of a semester, anxiety writ large on their faces, with all kinds of questions about assignments (which, incidentally, were due several days earlier), the upcoming exams (a few days away) and the readings (that they should have been keeping up with all through the term).
It’s funny how often we put off asking for clarifications or help — no matter what the context. When confronted with a problem or something we don’t quite understand, we can do one of several things. One, we can apply our minds and try to resolve it ourselves. Two, we can ask our peers for help and work it out together. Three, we can put it off, either for the time being, or indefinitely. Oh, and are we forgetting an option? Yes, four: we can go back to the teacher/professor and ask them for help.
There seems to be a general culture in our classrooms of not admitting that we don’t really understand something, or that we don’t know how to approach a problem. It’s not that questions or doubts are absent — it’s just that those who express them are in a minority. It is a culture that is noticeable in the classroom at the point when a teacher asks, “Does anybody have any questions?” and continues in the absence of follow-up outside the classroom. This seems to spring from several factors: lack of interest, lack of confidence, fear or hesitation in approaching the teacher, the conviction that things can be “managed” somehow, and a reluctance to reach out for assistance.
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Each of these factors can complicate our learning lives in significant ways, and, if we’d like to get the most out of any situation, we need to first recognise their existence and then deal with them. All of them are important and can grow into major stumbling blocks in our journey, both as students and as professionals. However, I’m particularly concerned about the last one — this is something that can trip up the best of us.
The competitive nature of much of secondary education makes it difficult for us to admit that we might need help. Of course, there are systems of support put into place to give us academic support — tuitions, special coaching centres, study groups, etc — but in some ways, these too become extensions of the classroom and don’t really give us the space to proactively seek help. Instead, we fall into a pattern of assuming that the difficult bits will be sorted out by these support systems without ourselves having to do anything about them.
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Many of us are more comfortable asking our friends for help, and that is a definite start. However, it is also important to remember that occasionally an entire class might be operating on a set of mistaken assumptions about course requirements, just because no one bothered to clarify with the teacher. So, some doubts can best be clarified only by key decision-makers in the system — if it’s an academic question related to the structure of the course, or specific requirements for assignments or tests, it is best to directly approach the teacher or faculty in charge. I often have students tell me that they did or did not do something based on advice from a classmate, which turns out to be completely off base.
Reach outWe need to think about a few specific things here. One, we need to recognise that one might not know everything that needs to be known. Second, that we may not be able to find out or understand what’s necessary on our own — another perspective or more inputs may be needed. Third, we need to identify correctly where we can get those inputs — is it sufficient to figure it out with our classmates or do we need something more? Fourth, we need to do this within a reasonable time, so that we can comfortably meet our deadlines. Fifth, most importantly, we need to remember that there is absolutely no shame in asking for help, no matter from whom. The consequences of not meeting a deadline or not turning in an assignment are far more serious than whatever “loss of face” one might have in asking for help.
You’ll find that most people (especially teachers) are quite willing to pitch in and help you solve a problem (academic or otherwise) if only you ask in the right way and at the right time. Of course, you’ll always have those few disagreeable sorts who turn away rudely or throw a sarcastic remark at you. In the largers scheme of things, however, these are not so important. At the end of the day, it’s preferable to have finished something with a bit of help than deal with the regret of not having tried hard enough, just because you’re afraid to ask.
The author teaches at the University of Hyderabad and edits Teacher Plus magazine. Email: usha.bpgll@gmail.com