How to deal with rejection

What one can learn from rebuffs and brush-offs

Failure and rejection can also lead to success.

I had just started college and needed a job to finance my education. Wearing my only suit and with copies of my resume in hand, I went door-to-door up and down the Empire State Building in New York, knocking on every office door, asking for a job.

I had no prior job experience, but was eager to work and willing to learn. It was a life-changing experience. While most turned me down politely or showed me the door before I could speak, my confidence and lack of fear managed to get me two job offers. At that time, the fear of rejection was not even on my mind. However, as we get older, our fear of failure increases, especially when the risk could mean a bigger loss. But it could also mean the opposite: the risk could be worth a big reward.

One of my first jobs was cold-calling customers, many of whom would hang up before I could even speak. I would call almost 300 people before getting one ‘yes’. There were many such jobs and they taught me many lessons and soft skills; the biggest being how to deal with rejection. Here are some tips from what I learnt:

Stop and reflect: Take some time to embrace the rejection and any other emotions that may ensue. Many of us tend to internalise and obsess over what could’ve been done differently, focusing on the negative and why we aren’t ‘good enough’. It’s important to acknowledge the pain and nurture our bruised ego. Once the dust settles, we can approach the next task or obstacle with a clear head and even, a fresh outlook.

Make it a lesson or teachable moment: When we approach rejection as we would a school lesson, it’s easier to manage our emotions, and know how we can improve and do better when we face our next obstacle. Whether it’s asking for feedback from the person who rejected you or using a journal to record what you learned from the experience and what you could fix the next time.

Using rejection as a motivator: As the old saying goes, “you need to fail in order to succeed”. Treat this experience as a way to push you through your next challenge. You need to persevere and keep going.

The writer is the CEO and founder of tech start-up, MobiHires; a certified Life Coach, and author of Doing Business In India.