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Stern-ly against the Yuletide

Updated - December 24, 2019 01:56 pm IST

Published - December 24, 2019 11:13 am IST

Santa is shocked when his factory suddenly comes to a halt. Turns out, Santa’s kidnapper is back!

Stern from Stern Communications was anxious. Every December, it was the same story. Everyone would be running around doing Santa’s bidding and ignoring him. And, Santa’s factory would be working overtime while in his factory, orders would be low and his staff applying for leave. Not that he granted them leave, but still, the very fact that they wanted it was irritating.

“No loyalty,” he said. “What does that fat man have that I haven’t?”

He sat alone in his office and contemplated how he could sabotage Santa’s efforts. Last year, he had kidnapped Santa, another year, he kidnapped a reindeer, he had even stolen the sleigh. But nothing had worked.

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Just then his second-in-command, Jay, pranced into the room.

“Good evening, Sir,” he giggled. He always did that to show that he was happy to be in Stern’s company.

“Hmmm...” said Stern, as he looked up from under his bushy eyebrows.

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“Sir, I was wondering...”

“I don’t pay you to wonder...”

“No Sir, you don’t. But I have a plan to sabotage Christmas for Santa...”

“Ha ha ha ha ha! Now you’re talking. Tell me quick!”

Jay tiptoed across and whispered his diabolic plan.

Stern was gleeful. He rubbed his hands in delight and said, “Yes, yes. Do it immediately.”

Jay danced off, happy to have pleased his master.

Something’s fishy

Far away in North Pole Uxorious Balthazar, Santa’s Chief Technical Officer frowned as he looked at his computer. Something was not right.

Now, it must be said the Uxorious was Santa’s most intelligent and educated elf. He had a Ph.D in Computer Science from an Ivy League college and he rarely mixed with the other elves, as he considered himself a cut above them. He had developed a software to monitor the Nice and Naughty list online, and it was updated every five to 10 minutes. All year through, the list was maintained. It was highly efficient and saved Santa a lot of time.

But, now as he looked at his programme for his Nice and Naughty list it just was not okay. The names from the Nice list were jumping into the Naughty list by the minute. He scratched his head and peered harder.

* * *

At Santa’s factory, suddenly the orders began to decrease and the machines began to fall silent.

“What is happening?” asked Santa.

“Santa, we have completed our order list. All that the children on the Nice list have asked for has been done,” said the chief factory elf.

“But, that’s impossible. The last time I checked with Uxorious, orders were flooding in.”

“Check this out,” said an elf, as he led Santa to his laptop.

Santa was amazed to find that the elf was right. Every order had been completed. There were no more red boxes, indicating unfulfilled orders.

* * *

There was a knock on Uxorious’s door.

“Come,” he said.

It was Gloria Shinny, the pretty elf from India, with a degree in Computer Science, she was assigned to Uxorious.

“Santa wants you in his office,” she said.

“Oh no. What is it now? I am busy. And, this programme is acting up.”

“What is the problem?”

“I just can’t figure it out. The names from the Nice list are jumping into the Naughty list.”

“Let me see...”

“Don’t do anything...” said Uxorious, as he made his way out.

Gloria was over-enthusiastic and excitable, and a computer problem was definitely her cup of hot chocolate. As soon as Uxorious left, she sat down and began to work on the programme. The more she delved into it, the more obvious it became. By the time Uxorious was back, Gloria had solved the puzzle.

“Gloria! I told you not to fiddle with my computer. I have sensitive data there. You could have jeopardised the whole operation.”

“Hah! You would think that. Your computer has already been jeopardised. Look what I found!”

“What?”

“It’s Stern, once again. He corrupted your computer with a powerful virus that was developed in his lab. That’s what caused your lists to be jumbled up.”

Uxorious was jubilant when he realised what Gloria had discovered. The lists began to rectify themselves. Once again, the Naughty list reduced and the names on the Nice list increased. And, the elves went back to work in Santa’s factory.

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