Play your cards right

V-Day is here and for all those wondering why it’s a big day just like me, fret not...you are certainly not alone!

Till last year, February 14 was just another day. It was the day before February 15, and the day after February 13. Nothing more. Nothing less. But this year, boy it is not just another day. It’s Valentine’s Day. Ok. Well, it’s been Valentine’s Day since the 5th century, but everyone in my class kind of just woke up to it now.

If, like me, you’ve been too busy playing Fortnite to know about Valentine’s Day, let me fill you in. Apparently, the day is celebrated by people sharing cards, chocolates and messages of love with people they care about. I did some Googling, and the day has a pretty grim origin story. Apparently, some Roman Emperor executed two dudes called Valentine on February 14 and to remember their sacrifice, the day was called Valentine’s Day. How that turned into a day celebrating love and chocolates and candy I do not know! There are other stories online about the history of Valentine’s Day, but they’re way too gross and creepy to share here. Ask your parents and then Google it! But do it on an empty stomach. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Change of heart

Anyway, I don’t think anyone in grade 5 is very concerned or sad about poor Valentine and Valentine, from all those centuries ago. All everyone cares about is who is giving who a card on the day. It’s really weird. Till last week, the girls thought the boys were dumb and lame and the boys thought the girls were goody-two-shoes-tattle-tales. Basically, the two groups did NOT like each other. I don’t know how we went from there to let’s give each other cards covered in pink and red hearts in a week. But there you have it.

I like some of the girls in my class, but that’s because they’re cool, help me with my homework and come and play cricket with us if we’re short for five-a-side during the break. But I don’t want to give anyone a card or candy. First of all, I’m saving up my pocket money for a Doctor Who Sonic Screwdriver. Do you know how much those things cost? I can’t be wasting even one rupee on a card with glitter on it. And if I’m honest, any candy I buy, I’ll just end up eating it on the bus to school. So why bother?

There are all these rumours about who is giving who a card. Who that’s making upset and jealous. Who’s getting more than five cards. Who’s not getting anything. WHO CARES is all I have to say.

I’m going to sit the whole thing out and play Fortnite instead. UGH! I just found out that Fortnite is going all pink hearts for the day. Valentine and Valentine, look what you’re putting the rest of us through. If there’s no way of escaping this, then there’s only one being getting a card from me: my dog! Woof to V-Day!