Beyond the blues

Shubhrata Prakash on writing The D Word — A survivor’s guide to depression

A lot more people suffer from depression today, but its causes remain veiled, repercussions dismissed, and sufferers often ignored. Sometimes, it takes someone like Shubhrata Prakash, who has travelled that road, to cast off the cloak on this mental condition and write about how she journeyed back from the brink.

Prakash is presently an Additional Commissioner of Income Tax, an officer from the 2002 batch of the Indian Revenue Service. Schooled in Patna, she is a Mathematics Honours graduate from St Stephen’s College, Delhi, and an MBA from Xavier Institute of Management, Bhubaneswar. Excerpts from an interview:

How did the book come about?

I’ve always loved writing, though it was mostly the school magazine, college yearbook kind. During the darkest phase of my depression, my family, friends and psychotherapist kept pushing me to take up writing, as they felt that expressing myself through words would be therapeutic. So, I started blogging. Having come across abysmally low levels of awareness about MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) and other mental health issues, and having been at the receiving end of a lot of social stigma, writing about it was the first thing that came to my mind.

Is it pegged entirely on your personal experience?

The book consists of two parts — the first has information about the Disorder, probable causes, treatment options, and how to help oneself or a loved one. The second has my experience of living with ‘D’. This is partly to help others relate to what happens when one has MDD, and also to hold out hope that it does get better.

How comfortable were you in sharing your story?

When I was writing, I had requested others to share their stories, but such is the stigma of a mental condition, that none agreed. So, I decided that my story had to suffice. It was very difficult to write about my journey, to put out a certain part of my life for public discourse and scrutiny. It was like ringing a bell that cannot be ‘unrung’. It was also difficult to condense the events of almost a decade of my life into a few pages. However, the most difficult part was striking a balance between my life and my illness, my privacy and my family’s. The book is not the story of my life; it is only the story of my illness, although it did, sometimes, overshadow every aspect of my life.

How long did it take to write the book? How has it been received?

The writing took three months, though I had been researching for two years prior to completing the manuscript. Strangers have been writing in to ask for advice or to say how my book has benefited them or a loved one who suffers. Every time someone writes a ‘thank you’, I feel vindicated. Putting a part of my life out there has been so worth it. However, it remains a matter of concern to see so many people with depression, some without any kind of medical, therapeutic or family support.

What are you writing next?

This is my second book. My first is a self-published collection of poems — Ink on Water — written over two decades. I’m writing fiction now. But, sometime, in the future, I would like to write a sequel to The D Word , where people like me will share their stories. Mental illness is just like physical illness — why feel ashamed?

( The D Word has been published by Pan Macmillan)

Authorspeak

At the book launch, political commentator Sanjay Pinto and psychologist Mini Rao will be in conversation with the author.

@ Odyssey Adyar

March 26, 5.30 pm

Tel: 24402264