W e are in February, folks. It’s time to discuss love and romance and who better than Ruchita Misra to get an idea of where we are headed in matters of heart. The author of bestselling novels like “The (In)eligible Bachelors”, “I Do! Do I?” and “Second Chance at Love” is back with her fourth take on the subject and this time it is called “Someone to Love” (Harlequin). We meet at Smokehouse Deli, one of the amorous spots in Connaught Place. As usual it is bustling with activity and we take no time to order Three Two Tango, a sprightly mocktail for a candid conversation.
Based in London, where she works in a telecom company, Ruchita says in this generation romance is about instant gratification but love takes time. “Every generation finds its own way to romance but the essence of love remains the same. Romance can be complicated but love is always simple. This generation believes in instant gratification and takes romance for love. You feel you have found ‘it’ but it is not true. That’s why couples are breaking up on text messages and are posting their relationship status on What’s App.” Ruchita, who believes in giving right messages through her novels, suggests youngsters should invest more time in relationship. “It requires patience.” It seems we are using too much mind in matters of heart. “What happens is youngsters start judging individual traits and often forget the overall picture. A person could fail to match the yardstick in many attributes but could still be the right choice for you. I know a friend who rejected a boy just because he could not pronounce station correctly,” Ruchita elaborates.
Ruchita stresses that romance could mean different things at different stages of life. “When my husband changes the diaper of our child at night without waking me up, I find it romantic. Our generation is so stressed that we are not giving time to each other. that’s why the role of psychotherapists have increased in the society. We have to keep these screens out of our lives as much as possible,” says Ruchita pointing to the gadgets lying around us. In Britain, she says, people are again finding time for family. “If I go to my boss and say, I am not going to work after 6 p.m., he understands.”
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And then there is an element of lust. Ruchita says she has a moral compass but she thinks her readers are intelligent enough to make their life choices. “My understanding is lust desires to take, love desire to give. At the same time I believe physical intimacy has everything to do with love. It is part of the process and should be talked about.”
Interestingly, Ruchita had an arranged marriage. “I am a big advocate of arranged marriage. I am not against love marriages but just as you meet somebody through common friends, here you meet somebody through your parents. We often hear cases where the girl discovers after courtship that the guy has no proper means of earning. Here somebody is vetting things for you. And if you don’t like that person, mummy-papa will make another boy stand in front of you! The days of getting to see the boy directly in mandap or making a dramatic entry with a tray full of tea cups are over. When I talk to people in the UK, they say they are so desperate to meet the right person. How lovely it would have been, had their parents presented a couple of options.”
While carefully negotiating boss style spaghetti aglio olio, Ruchita delves into her writing process. She loves to write on the go. “I write while travelling in the Tube. I usually miss my stop and by the time I complete a book, I lose my phone. My husband often jokes that he has to buy me a phone, every time I write a book,” reflects Ruchita, who often calls her husband by the name of her male protagonist during the writing process. “This is another grouse that he has,” she chuckles.
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Her novels read like screenplays and perhaps it has to do with Ruchita’s fondness for cinema. “Even as a kid, I would tell my mother while watching television serials that I could write them. She would laugh off. Those were different days and despite being a die-hard romantic, I got into engineering and management. Today when I read my diary, I find entries like that girl has got 7.5 marks and I have got only 7. Oh! god what I have to do to get that extra half mark.” Ruchita loves the romantic universe that Karan Johar and Imitaz Ali create. She is slightly partial towards Imtiaz but such is her liking for the medium that the most inane of films can give her goose bumps. “Can you imagine, I cried while watching Dunston Checks in.” No, I can’t!
An ardent vegetarian, Ruchita loves preparing South Indian dishes and proudly claims, “My husband says that my dosa, sambar and chutney are better than that of Saravana Bhavan.” Even as I try to digest the claim of the girl from Lucknow, Ruchita tells me her source of recipes – Manjula’s Kitchen on the internet. A patient woman, she equally loves watching her chapatis swell. But when her husband comes in the kitchen to lend a helping hand, Ruchita doesn’t like it. “He expects me to clean as I cook. So I ask him to show the way and leave.” One can make out that the sense of humour that reflects in her writing is not laboured. From Spanish paella to Japanese sushi, London has given her many vegetarian options to explore but what she misses is her Indian Chinese. “We have been trying to find authentic Indian Chinese for a while now but nobody offers the kind of veg manchurian we find here!”