Friendship yes, marriage no

DEVELOPING TRUST: Students at a city college.

DEVELOPING TRUST: Students at a city college.  

G. Krishnakumar

Today’s boys and girls just want to be good friends

KOCHI: Choosing friendship over love seems to the latest mantra in campuses these days.

The stereotyped image of the girl-guy relationship ending in ‘happily ever after’ is fast changing. Many campus buddies confessed that marriage is not on the cards but friendship will continue, ‘ever after’.

Anila Nair, a B. Com student in a city college, elaborated: “Friendship is cool. It becomes a problem when it turns in to a relationship. Why can’t we just end up being just friends? The concept of a friendship leading to a marriage is stereotyped”.

Her friend, Ann Varghese, agrees by saying that the general notion that a girl and boy are in love once they start talking regularly does not exist anymore.

“It also depends on your attitude. I am part of a group of six who never attribute any particular character to our relationship. The group consists of three boys and three girls. We are different characters but there is something that takes us forward. We are not caught in the pool of love. The realisation that we are good friends remains intact,” she said.

Reshma George, a B.Tech student, said that many friendships lead to marriage. “That is natural. But the moment you are spotted at a coffee shop with a guy, people say that the two are in love. But I think the new generation is not bothered about such stereotypes. They are cool,” she said.

Krishnaraj, a B.Sc. Science student, said that there is nothing wrong in being a good friend to the person you love.

“It all starts with friendship. Why should you insist that relationships should not grow? By restraining your real emotions, you are actually hiding the truth. Still, I agree that majority of the youngsters go for friendship these days rather than getting into a new relationship,” he said.

Seema Vishwanathan, an MCA student, said that “one has to spend a lot of time with the lover, once the two have decided to get married or at least try to take the relationship in that way. “We will miss the excitement of being with a group when you get confined to a person on the campus. Relationships then turn uncomfortable and that is why youngsters choose friendship over love,” she said.

But those opposing these views lament that the supporters of ‘friendship over love’ seem to be advocating the crass commercialisation of relationships.

“Friendship is not something that you celebrate only on Friendship Day. It is a pity that cards, cakes and the wrist bands are being projected as means to celebrate the essence of friendship.

Friendship is an eternal feeling. It is long lasting,” said Anup. V. Menon, a postgraduate student.

Renjith Ramachandran, a B.Tech student, agreed to Anup’s views saying that he has seen many students who think that friends can be made by giving cards, chocolates and teddy bears.

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