LIFE

No looking back Gladiator

1) Ensure balladeer Gaddar or Kannabiran accompany you while travelling. You will be cent per cent safe. 2) Gift `pocket combs' to police personnel doing combing operations. You can escape any danger in hair-breadth's time. 3) Form "Chandranna Dalam" (with your cabinet colleagues as dalam members) and operate from Penchalakona or Talakona forests. You can learn tricks of guerella warfare, study escape routes, and ambush Congress and MIM leaders. 4) When your security chief brings bread, butter & jam (instead of mine jammer in convoy) send him to Best Bakery. 5) Not seen the great NTR's "Gandikota Rahasyam" and "Gopaludu Bhoopaludu"? Rope in your look-alike. 6) Move in "Maaru Vesham" (incognito) like the late NTR in films.

No problem even if `people' recognise you. But not People's War. 9) Appoint Girijasri Bhagawan's detectives `Narsan and Kripal' or Madhubabu's `Shadow' as your personal body guards.

10) Inspiration courtesy: Dr. J. Jayalalithaa - Build your body more. No blast can lift your car beyond 10 cm. 11) Sign an MoU with Veerappan. He can help you track down naxals and tame Karnataka CM, Krishna, on water politics.

B.V. Kumar, Nellore