Emotional disconnect

SHILPI MADAN

Are we, as parents and adults, on the same mental wavelength as our kids?

Different people have different views on today’s children. Some maintain that they are evil beings, who have perfected the art of emotionally blackmailing their parents. Others believe they are genuine souls, essentially compassionate, slightly misled and greatly misunderstood.

The rest simply shudder as the media spotlights and replays the gory acts that shroud young ones, and thank God for leaving them childless. It is an ugly predicament.

Gaping void

When you see images of Aarushi Talwar and Scarlett Keeling across dailies and news channels, you wonder what ticked in their minds, and what is ticking in the minds of their parents.

Children have become thinking, brooding kidults. They seem to think they know exactly what they want in life, they think they can ‘handle’ whatever situation confronts them.

But are we, as parents and adults, connected to them and share the mental wavelength on the same plane with them? There is a gaping void between what we think they are and what they are in reality.

There are parents who state emphatically that their child never tried his/her hand at dope when autopsy reports reveal a drug overdose. There are technophobe or non-tech-savvy parents who have no idea whom their young one was cyber-pals with, who are completely insulated from the world of online forums and chat rooms, despite a computer into their child’s room.

In most such ‘cases’, the cops are sniffing out telltale signs on forums like Orkut for possible clues on what transpired emotionally in the young one’s life. Parents are clueless about what is ticking within their child’s mind.

Of course, imagining a 24x7x365 monitored overview of your young one’s life is foolhardy and undesirous. The question is not about what values are we instilling in our youngsters. We bring them up with love and care, impart a value system to them and then send them out into the world.

The vital bond

The point is that, as parents, we are losing the emotional connect with our young ones. We are too sapped by our own demands, obligations and commitments to remember to nourish the most vital link — the bond between us and our children. And while crucifying this bond, we push away the warmth our physical presence brings into their lives, the constant sharing of their thoughts and the gentle process of allaying their fears and apprehensions in the stress packed environment. Will we wake up before the sun sets?