Control that anger bug!

MAN, THOUGH feeblest in nature, is a very powerful being in anger. Anger is a negative emotion, the arousal of which depends much upon thoughts relevant to that situation. For example, arousal of anger is often linked with violent thoughts. Such thoughts determine our activity. The technique of thought stopping is way by which we can control, direct or modify our behaviour. This is done by saying `stop' sub-vocally and directing our thought to anything that which gives us the highest degree of pleasure or happiness. Or, whenever we get angry, which leave us shaken, scared or guilty, first of all, sit back and instead of justifying the anger, take steps to reduce it. Don't act on the anger, instead, sit down comfortably, take three deep breaths, and relax.

Most people find that when they are involved in an argument and get angry, they tend to get out of the room for an adequate amount of time to pull back and calm themselves. It is also a good idea to discharge the energy physically by taking a brisk walk or participating in some sort of group singing, like bhajans, listening to a music concert or to some soft, melodious music. In rancour, it is normal sometimes that we may want to choke a victim. Don't feel guilty about it, but just abstain from doing it!

When we live with mischievous children or teenagers, it is like experiencing life on a roller coaster. At one minute, we may feel fine, the next minute it is horrid! During such situations, never get angry, but reach out to that person for support and align with him. The enduring pain may be drastic, but we can minimise it provided we do not over-dramatise it. Apologising is an effective way of recovering from lost temper.

Control that anger bug!

Researchers opine in varied ways about anger. Some say that anger isn't good or bad; it is only information. Everything hinges on what we do with the information. Others say that we could identify two kinds of anger: the anger healthy adults feel when they are bullied, coerced, invaded, disrespected or abused; and the anger felt by bullies when frustrated in their attempts to control others.

Healthy anger is assertive behaviour, the refusal to be victimised or controlled by the bullies. Conversely, the controllers need to learn how to accept what they cannot control and what they do not have the right to control. Controllers can also redirect their energies to control what they can effectively control by themselves too! In many instances, the anger is unconsciously concealed from the individual. By this mechanism of repression, the feeling of anger is excluded from the conscious awareness. But the concealed resentment may interfere with the individual's personal, social vocational and marital adjustment causing most often psychosomatic disorders.

Life is full of recurring frustrations and irritations. The so-called normal, mature, reasonably adjusted person may handle them adequately without repression and symptom formation. But sometimes, he may overact with rage to mild irritation and frustration and act out with angry feelings. Honking of horns when there is a heavy traffic jam is one from our daily life's experience. It disturbs even the most sedate person. To a certain extent, this is expected for as Aldous Huxley said, we live "in this hard world of stern realities." It is said that behind the whitewash of human culture, when once the surface is scratched, it would be possible to see strong animal instinctual impulses. Calmness on the surface and irritation (anger) deep inside!

Illustration: Devaran

Recommended for you