Cinematic balm

THE CINEMA WORLD, in an attempt to discipline itself, has come up with a set of guidelines/rules that will come into effect from January 1, 2003. Here are the major ones.

Work only with a completed script.

30 per cent cut in remuneration (self-imposed).

Cut in number of assistants. Have one assistant director with only three people assisting him.

One art director with only four assistants.

Cut in negative film consumption. Make a film under two-and-a half-hours.

Any new technician or actor has to get a temporary membership in the trade bodies, before entering the field.

The argument that goes in favour of these rules is that if everybody is held accountable for his/her actions, then there will be no complaints. For instance, if the script is finished before shooting begins, then the producer need not have headaches about whether the days will lag on and costs mount.Likewise, unnecessary baggage always means more money. Thus the cut in the number of assistants.

The breed called producers has ceased to exist with anybody who takes a fancy to cinema trying to make one. To arrest this trend, a temporary membership has been insisted upon.