What Mr. Frog Running Away From Marilyn Monroe Taught Me About #MeToo

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In the powder room beside the stairs


I keep a portrait of Marilyn.


Not a Warhol original but


one of those cheap museum prints


I bought instead of a magnet.




The tree frog who lives in that room


sits on the picture frame and grins,


groin chakra exploding. Sometimes he


shifts to the book in the window sill


so he can give her come hither looks.




At night when the other insects


and rodents come out to play


Mr Frog uses his skills in camouflage


to blend into the blue shadow


of Marilyn’s eyes. It’s a kind of love




mirage with sneaky undertones


of lust because I’ve heard him emit


mating calls – jackhammerish –


when he should be out there


looking for a pond to cast his frothy net.



Instead, he’s jerking off to cosmic dust


and when other frogs try to enter the chamber


Mr Frog squirts them with projectile


pee. He’s possessive of his queen.


The house understands —




she’s his Norma Jean. But of late


Mr Frog has displayed


erratic behaviour. I found him


by the door making a run for it


and yesterday he got as far as the stairs.




He was carrying an edition


of the morning papers,


his skin a bit droopy and sad,


as if all his desires had been purged


from him by an evil (female) mortician.




On the veranda consulting


with his more colourful cousin —


the Malabar gliding frog,


he confessed to a kind of confusion


about these uneven power equations




but insisted on the purity


of his love — how he had never heard


her say no, how all of this was so long ago,


how career breaking, how humiliating.


I’m a good man, really, I am.




And even as Mr Frog escaped


into the wilderness – cries of Me Too


came from the bushes. Ms Bee-eater,


Ms Kingfisher, no one had been spared.


Even as we understood the magnitude




of these allegations, the wind blew


as decision makers do — knocking down


a few trees to appease the crowd


and afterward, restored his green kingdom


as if nothing had ever happened.


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