Diary of a Little Woman | A break brings forth fresh life

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Young Nila comes back after a short hiatus and has more than enough news for her readers to digest.

Writing is a full-time job for writers. But even they could use a break just to inhale new life experiences. | Pixabay

February 19

Dear Diary,

Sorry for having ignored you all these days. I could give you a dozen excuses but Najju Paati always says that ‘Excuses are for the lazy’.

To make up for this long absence, I’m going to write a little more than usual.

 

In the last month:

 

* We have a new English Teacher, Kanchan Ma’am. I adore her. All the English teachers so far have been amazing but this one is amazing-est. I think one of the requirements for being an English teacher is to be ‘super cool’.

 

* Just the other day Kanchan Ma’am was telling us that exams don’t matter. That’s usually Poonguzhali Akka’s dialogue whenever she sees me with my head buried in a textbook. But for a teacher to say this!

 

* Ma’am also says other radical things like ‘Marks are not a sign of success’ and ‘Ye shall not fall pray to the allure of 1st rank’.

 

* Poonguzhali Akka and Varun Anna are adopting a child! They have begun the process. It could take more than a year or two. “But it’ll be totally worth it,” Akka said. I asked her why she didn’t want her own baby. Did she not like sex? (Akka was mighty impressed that I remembered her lessons about where babies came from. As if I’d forget!)

 

She smiled at me and said, “Miss Nila, Varun Anna is not obsessed with spreading his sperm. Neither do I care much about seeing miniature Poonguzhalis or Varuns. A baby is a baby is a baby. And we’ll love our little one irrespective of where it comes from.”

 

* Adoption makes sense. There are so many babies without homes. And so much population-explosion. It’s not that everyone needs to adopt but it’ll definitely be great if more people adopted.

 

* The baby that’ll soon be my neighbour will be the luckiest baby in the whole wide solar system.

 

* Poo and Rads are not talking to each other. AGAIN! As usual, I’m stuck in the middle. This time the topic for the fight was Adarsh. New boy in class. Both of them have a crush on him. It’s not like they’re going to do anything about it. But they still won’t talk to each other. Poo says the only solution is for Rads to stop having a crush on Adarsh. Is it even possible to stop having a crush just because your best friend says so? Silly girls! Also, don’t tell them this but I find Adarsh very boring. The only thing he has going for him are those delightfully brown eyes.

 

* In case you are wondering, Sandy and I are doing great. We had a few more adventures — once in a secret children’s park with zero children and many, many ancient trees. The whole afternoon was spent climbing trees and pretending to be Tarzan and Mowgli. I played Mowgli and he was Tarzan. I like playing with Sandy. I don’t have to be all girly-girly just because we’re boyfriend-girlfriend.

 

* I made a penfriend!!!! Her name is Tara. We’ve just exchanged one letter each. I’ll tell you more about her later. But yayayay! I’ve always wanted to write letters to a stranger. There’s something so dreamy about it. I also wanted to write a message, stuff it in a bottle and toss it into the sea. I told Sandy about it. Knowing him, he’ll make it happen.

 

* The other day, at tea, Shanky asked Najju Paati about the Order of the Madcaps. We never met after that first meeting about colour discrimination. First, Poonguzali Akka and Varun Anna went to Vietnam on their annual honeymoon. Then Najju Paati went to Mumbai for a reunion with her apartment friends. Then we had our Unit Tests and Amma refused to let us attend the meeting even though Najju Paati gave Amma a long lecture about how Unit Tests should be renamed Useless Tests. And then we just forgot. Until now when Shanky reminded Paati. So, we’re having our next meeting this Saturday. We’re yet to decide on a topic. Varun Anna wants to discuss censorship. But Poonguzhali Akka says it might not be fun for the Junior Citizens. I like that she calls us Junior Citizens instead of kids.

 

* We have new neighbours. A family of 5 plus 3 cats and 2 dogs! Bittu Uncle is CRAZY! He works for All India Radio and also does a lot of animal rescue work. Saro Aunty is crazy and beautiful. She also works for All India Radio and does animal rescue work. I asked Uncle and Aunty whether they met at the AIR office or the animal shelter. “Oh Nila, Nila. We go way back. I fell in love with her in 7th standard when I saw her feed an injured puppy. It took me 4 years to finally ask her out. Thank God she rejected all those other idiots who tried to get in the way of our divine relationship.” Saro Aunty rolled her eyes at me. “I only said yes to your Bittu Uncle because he had 6 dogs at home,” she said.

 

* I wonder if Sandy and I will be like this after 20 years.

 

* Bittu Uncle insists that I call him by his name. It feels odd but I’m going to try anyway. They have two sons and a daughter. Ambi and Kumbi are 7 years old. Haseena is the same age as me. They are being home-schooled. I asked Amma if she’d also home-school me. She glared. Also, I immediately realised that I have great friends at school. Even if Poo and Rads fight all the time, I like hanging out with them.

 

Ok, Diary. My hands hurt from all the writing. I’m off to bed.

 

Mother-promise I won’t ignore you in future.

 

Lots of love

 

Nila

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