Meaning and happiness

There is more danger in self-help books, which set meaningfulness up as an imperative, than living out a happy but uneventful life. Either way, true meaning and passion should be self-generated.

January 27, 2017 03:21 pm | Updated 03:24 pm IST

Often, meaningfulness and happiness are misrepresented as binaries. If we look closer, we find that they can merge.

Often, meaningfulness and happiness are misrepresented as binaries. If we look closer, we find that they can merge.

This is a blog post from

“I have no passion in life”, whispered someone dear to me, as she nestled into the seat next to me in the plane, her tone betraying the lament in her words.

“How does that matter?” I asked, pulling away the seatbelt buckle which had been bothering her.

“It matters because it gives your life meaning. I have no passion, so I just get past every day without thinking much about anything”, she replied.

“But that’s a good thing because it keeps you happy. Look at me, I’m not happy. I’m always bothered about things that I am passionate about”, I repeated the umpteenth time. And it was true.

“Happiness doesn’t matter. Passion and meaning do”, she said, and before I could respond, I had started thinking about the tussle between happiness and meaning in life.

***

I have earlier written about this tussle. The gist of that piece: happiness is overrated, and Aristotelian Eudaimonia — essentially a higher form of happiness/contentment derived from a meaningful life — matters far more than the conventional form of happiness, which could be achieved by staying well within one’s comfort zone.

I still stand by what I said. However, by means of this piece I intend to qualify the observations made in the previous one.

Explaining the ‘meaning industry’

The lack of a meaningful life, which, although is still a luxury reserved for those who've had their basic needs met, has turned into a common lament of the so-called Millennials. Besides a genuinely felt need for meaning in life, I believe this lament is a consequence of two factors — one, the comparisons facilitated by Internet; two, what I call the ‘meaning industry’ comprising multitudes of motivational speakers and authors who peddle the lie that “every child is special” and use its inevitable unravelling to make perfectly happy people feel miserable about a lack of meaning in their lives.

 

The meaning industry has risen as the next logical step to the more widespread ‘happiness industry’ whose job is to tell people to be happy 24*7. Once the gullible have been swallowed whole by the happiness industry and squeezed dry for every penny, the meaning industry steps in to show them the path to a “fulfilling life”, because obviously a “happy life” isn't special enough for those born special. The meaning industry has twisted and co-opted Viktor Frankl’s “the very pursuit of happiness thwarts happiness” to legitimise its agenda of discrediting happiness.

Decoding the lies of meaning industry

The meaning industry is best exemplified by a 2013 article titled ‘ There’s More to Life Than Being Happy ’, written by one Emily Esfahani Smith. The article went viral and has possibly over a thousand comments on it. It makes for curious reading. The author’s claims are backed up by “research” claiming that happiness is associated with being a selfish “taker” while meaning is associated with being a charitable “giver”. The research says that “happiness is about reduction of a drive, such as hunger. You satisfy it, and that makes you happy. People become happy… when they get what they want.” Further, “If anything, pure happiness is linked to not helping others in need.”

Any alert reader will easily see through the ruse in the article — “happy” has conveniently replaced “hedonist”. A close reading of Frankl’s quote also makes clear that he was referring to hedonists who “pursue happiness”, a.k.a. fulfillment of desires, at all costs. So, why should such a manipulation be done by the meaning industry, you ask? The answer lies in assessing the impact of using the correct word in the title of the article. Once that’s done, the number of clicks fall precipitously.

About meaning, the article says “people leading meaningful lives get a lot of joy from giving to others”, and that “people who have high meaning in their lives more likely to help others in need”.

 

Often, meaning becomes all-consuming, to the point of debilitation. The fact that I can hardly do anything to uphold free speech and justice rankles me to no end.

Again, not hard to see that the right word should be “charity” and not “meaning”. Why does the meaning industry require yet another manipulation? There are two reasons — one, meaning is extremely subjective and thus hard to define and, as will become clear in the subsequent paragraphs, doesn't guarantee societal good in any way whatsoever; two, talking about charity without actually using the word hits people where it matters the most — their conscience, while not invoking in them the fear of parting with their money. This bolsters the meaning industry’s profits.

Happiness isn’t hedonism; Meaning isn't charity

Happiness, in its original form, is not associated with any of the above evils. Happy people are often charitable and sensitive to others’ needs. At the same time, meaning/passion is not necessarily associated with charity or goodness. The ideals of free speech and justice give great meaning to my life and I’m undoubtedly passionate about them, but at the same time I’m brazenly immune to charitable causes and often poke dark humour at even the most helpless, thereby willfully causing hurt to many, if for nothing else then for the sake of defending my right to speech.

A meaningful life is no magic wand to having a better society. The article quotes a leading psychologist, “you use your highest strengths… to serve something you believe is larger than self.” That is undoubtedly true. Hitler considered Aryan victory as a goal larger than self and was arguably the most passionate human being that ever lived, but it sure didn't bring much societal good. Steve Jobs led a meaningful life but his views on charity aren't exactly charitable.

More significantly, what deflates the meaning industry’s biggest USP is that meaning hardly guarantees the individual a fulfilling life. Often, meaning becomes all-consuming, to the point of debilitation. The fact that I can hardly do anything to uphold free speech and justice rankles me to no end. Only a few days back, when I intervened in a couple’s brawl to protect the lady, I was asked to leave by both of them. Having been unable to help her, I know this incident will play on repeat in my mind for the next few months.

 

I have spent days, even weeks, obsessing over tiny newspaper articles that I didn't agree with, arguing about its merits with hundreds of people. Each and every one of those incidents lives like a sore in my mind, and often festers. At work, a crucial initiative of mine was scuttled at the eleventh hour by someone senior. I will probably never get over that loss. Those who are deeply passionate about things that lend meaning to their lives would already be recounting similar experiences in their heads.

As a much-needed distraction from this obsession, I took to running about 15 months back. Like free speech and justice, running gives great meaning to my life and I’m deeply passionate about it, but I am constantly bothered by it because it’s hard for me to go beyond half-marathon distances (21k). In the process of training harder, I have already hurt my knees running 21k on consecutive days. But that hasn't stopped me despite knowing full well the consequences.

None of the above is to deny the immeasurable contributions that people with meaningful lives have made. Sachin Tendulkar, Kalidas, Lee Kuan Yew, Jim Morrison are just some examples of people who made the world a better place because their lives were meaningful. But unfulfilled meaning, a truism for the overwhelming majority, often leads to deep-seated angst.

Don’t fall for self-help books

The pursuit of happiness might or might not thwart happiness, but the pursuit of meaning surely will, in most cases. The rewards from pursuit of meaning, though big, are uncertain and come at a late stage for most. A meaningless but happy life, on the other hand, is often easier to live and need not in any way cause harm to society at large. Incessant search for meaning, by means of self-help books instead of self-discovery, is nothing but a case of the grass being greener on the other side.

Emily Esfahani Smith is now writing a book titled ‘ The Power of Meaning: Crafting a Life That Matters ’, expounding upon the subject matter of her article. There are countless such writings by the meaning industry. Meaning-hungry readers should be careful before gobbling them up, for they might just take away their happiness without replacing it with meaning. Gullibility might mean that the meaning of only the authors’ lives — to become rich — is fulfilled.

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