Conversations with self Society

We speak a lot with ourselves

Debilitating thoughts occur not because someone else is judging us, but because of our self-image

I have been overwhelmed with so much happening around me lately, yet have been putting on a brave front of calm and peace.

A friend, sensing my discomfiture, asked me what it was about me that was unwilling to let my guard down and share with someone my state of confusion.

I realised it was my fear of being judged, of being prescribed to, both of which at this point makes me feel vulnerable.

Interestingly, my friend pointed out that I seem to have a continuous conversation with myself, yet all the ‘self-talk’ that I was indulging in was either faulting myself, or attempting to affirm myself but with no conviction, or simply think that I am being misunderstood.

Unfortunately, debilitating thoughts occur, not because someone else is judging us, but because we have an image of ourselves, and when we imagine that image is either being compromised or challenged, both of which are illusory, we tend to defend ourselves in a self-destructive way. By telling myself I am no good, I am able to ‘falsely’ protect myself from ‘onslaught’.

The fact is, I am neither being judged nor propped up by another, but am conveniently using my self-talk to foist it on others.

The writer is an organisational and behavioural consultant. He can be contacted at

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Printable version | Mar 24, 2020 3:58:05 PM |

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