Women in California are flocking to yoga classes, while men in Delhi are flocking to gyms. If this does not prove that Kalyug is here, I don’t know what does. Of course, there are other signs, such as Karan Johar, but we must try not to get distracted. How have we reached this situation? When did we lose track of our roots? And what is the explanation for Baba Ramdev?
The primary culprit is Bollywood. In the old days, heroes like Raj Kapoor and Dilip Kumar were slim and wiry. They were lovers more than fighters, and so were we. Of course, we had Dharmendra, but it’s inconceivable that his muscles came from gymming. Whatever he may have done, it must have been Indian, and almost certainly involved desi ghee. Subsequently, Amitabh and Rajesh Khanna rose to power. Both were pleasantly normal-shaped. One was tall and gangly, while the other was lushly full hipped. The question of wanting to see either of them without their shirts on never arose.
Meanwhile, down South, Rajinikanth was doing both loving and fighting, but his fighting was more about divine radiance than muscles. No amount of gymming will ever make you his equal. The rot started setting in with Salman Khan, who was man enough to take off his shirt on a regular basis. But for myself, and many people I know, the true turning point was when Shah Rukh Khan developed abs. The combination of his finely chiselled abdomen and his haunted, starving face is something that none of us have ever forgotten.
Soon after, both Shekhar Suman and his son also got abs, followed by Chunky, Lucky and Happy, who live on my lane, and the gym revolution had started. Today, if you sit in any Delhi bar on a bar stool, chances are that you will find on either side of you, two young men with arms the size of tree trunks. You will drink carefully and avoid making humorous remarks.
Does this mean yoga is dead or dying? Not as long as Baba Ramdev is alive. There are many things that a human being can do with their abdomen, and many others which we had no idea were possible, and Baba Ramdev has done all of them. Things are looking bad, it’s true. The sale of whey protein in major urban centres has outstripped the sale of baby food. Not to mention Tiger Shroff. But as I watch Baba Ramdev on YouTube, his stomach rippling, his smile heavenly, I feel confident that eventually, yoga will find a way.
Shovon Chowdhury’s most recent novel, Murder With Bengali Characteristics , contains a yogi, but he does not perform any miracles
