My son, who will soon be 17, has been asked by the paediatrician to come back for a vaccination at 25. He will probably go, simply because of the relationship they have developed over so many years.
It makes sense. Parents spend a lot of time figuring out the right paediatrician: you ask friends and neighbours for a list, and then check out each doctor, one at a time, because when your child hits school, he comes back with everything from a cold to a maybe-broken finger, and there are ample opportunities to go doctor hopping.
You carefully assess each paediatrician: Is the doctor close to home? Will she see you in an emergency? How often does she prescribe antibiotics? How much time does she spend on your baby? Then you compare notes with other parents and call your own distant relative who is a children’s doctor, just to make sure you’re on the right track.
Once you’re satisfied that she’s treating your baby better than all the rest, you have that last question: Do you like her? It can take a while to find the right match, and once you do, you will stick by her, because of the trust established over the years. A number of parents start off with a paediatrician in the hospital of birth and then shift to someone closer home, a clinic, where a cold transactional atmosphere gives way to a warmer relationship, despite germy toys and cramped waiting rooms.
The paediatrician will record everything about your child, from age and weight to infections, vaccinations and family history. Most have a computerised system today that you can access, so it’s really the beginning of medical records getting stored in one place.
Children and parents often get infections together, and it’s convenient for an already-overburdened mother to simply ask the paediatrician she takes her child to for a prescription for herself too. Problems like asthma run in families, and she’ll know exactly how to advise you on medication, depending on your own experience with a disease or disorder. She’ll also deworm you together, as a family!
In a medical world that seems to thrive on super-specialisations (paediatric dermatologist, cardio-thoracic surgery), the paediatrician is at the base of the pyramid. It’s what the general physician used to be to the adult world, a couple of generations ago. They’d listen to you patiently, crack a joke or two with you, know your family history and get invited to family weddings. Most often when we’re sick, what we’re seeking is comfort and reassurance. The GP did that for us. It’s exactly what the paediatrician does today.
But since we have lost the GP to multi-speciality hospitals, where the few that exist are holed up, we turn to our most convenient, most trusted source of information. I have been in Delhi 18 years now, and know only two general physicians, both of whom charge an arm and a leg (not quite a kidney yet) for a consultation. My paediatrician, who lives a stone’s throw away, is easier to access, charges one-third the sum, and will treat a cold and fever the way a cold and fever is meant to be treated, with advice and paracetamol. I’d also pick someone I have grown up with as a parent, who has signed my swimming consent forms every year, and who calls my son, “ mera bachha ”. It’s comfort in a medical system of fraying doctor-patient relationship. It’s also about touch and healing, because only a parent knows just how the house feels with a sick child.
