“Had I discovered HIV in a baby instead of in sex workers, the stigma around AIDS would’ve been different,” says the late Dr Suniti Solomon in the documentary Lovesick , directed by Ann S Kim and Priya Giri Desai. Eight years in the making, the film is a powerful exploration of a real-life love story between two people with HIV — Karthik and Manu (names changed to protect privacy), with Suniti playing cupid in their lives.
Suniti, who ran the YR Gaitonde Centre for AIDS Research and Education, noticed that the stress of talking about AIDS further worsened their medical condition. As most medical professionals focused more on treating it rather than the individual, she came up with the idea of starting a matchmaking service for those with HIV back in 2001. For an effective match between two people, she says she relied more on the CD4 level in their blood, instead of compatibility issues such as religion, caste, race or astrology. CD4 is a marker of immunity that determines how sick a patient is.
Not alone any more
Chennai-based Karthik (name changed) was 38 and had almost given up on marriage. One day, he got a call from YRG Care, informing him about a suitable partner. Suniti decided to match a reticent Karthik with a verbose Manu, from Delhi, who, like most cases of women with HIV in India, got the virus from her first husband.
“Evolve” is one word that Karthik uses a lot. From having been diagnosed with HIV in 1996, to marrying Manu in 2011, and to being featured in the documentary, Karthik has come a long way. He credits his wife for having made him a better person.
The mantle passes on
After Suniti passed away battling cancer in 2015, her son Dr Sunil Solomon, from John Hopkins University, took over the matchmaking mantle at the Chennai centre. “When HIV patients started living longer in the early 2000s, they were facing a lot of pressure from their families to get married. However, most resisted because they did not want to ruin another person’s life,” says Sunil. “We do not charge anything and the service is not limited to our patients. In fact, we often get requests from other parts of India and overseas as well,” he explains, adding, “We’ve matched 32 couples so far.”
A simple Google search results in scores of matrimonial sites that offer a similar service to people living with HIV. But Sunil believes that YRG Care has a better understanding of the social implications associated with HIV. “We have been taking care of patients since 1993. Apart from matrimony, we are also aware of the challenges faced by people with HIV, both clinically and socially,” he says.
- In 1986, Dr Suniti Solomon discovered India’s first case of HIV. She established the YR Gaitonde Centre for AIDS Research and Education in Chennai to fight the disease and treat those with HIV. She was posthumously awarded the Padmashri by the Government of India for her contribution in the field of Medicine.
The work goes on
Karthik acknowledges that the stigma around HIV hasn’t changed much. “Once you’re diagnosed with it, it’s inevitable that you become a social outcast. You cannot openly talk about it. The moment you say AIDS, they take two steps back,” says Karthik, who was infected through blood transfusion.
Then comes the question of morality. The initial days were particularly hard for Karthik. Struggling emotionally and financially, he wasn’t in a position to talk to his friends or relatives. “People suddenly start judging you, since the disease is associated with sex and sex workers,” he says.
Babies and more
With advancements in technology and medicine, Sunil states that there’s a high possibility of parents who are HIV positive giving birth to a negative baby, “Especially if the mother is undergoing treatment and has a low-level virus in her blood,” he says.”
Five years into their marriage, the couple decided it’s time to reveal their story to the world through Lovesick . It was a rather tough call to make, but they did. “At first, we were a little sceptical, but we saw the world evolving and we found a sense of belonging. People who knew about our condition started to accept us the way we are,” he says.
So far, 28 couples, who found love through YRG Care, have given birth to negative babies. Though matchmaking is currently limited to heterosexuals, Sunil says he will extend the service to everyone, irrespective of their sexual orientation, when the law recognises same-sex marriages.
Lovesick premièred at MAMI last month. The documentary will soon be available on OTT platforms. Sunil Solomon can be contacted at sss@yrgcare.org
