Welcome to what I call the fattest part of the year: those three months between Dussehra and New Year that effectively blitz all the efforts of the months before.
It starts somewhat insidiously, of course. First are the sweets your kindly colleague brings to work. A stray besan laddoo, a bit of kaju katli , melty coconut barfi or Mysore pak .
“I’ll take just a bite,” you say, and delicately (or messily) break off a sliver of sugary goodness. Then you take another and yet another, until you have effectively consumed the equivalent of a cartful of cotton candy.
I don’t drink, so I’m spared those calories, but since my body reacts to sweets the same way I imagine a recovering alcoholic’s does to a drink, I’m not sure it matters. No one can eat just one, has been my logo for aeons now.
Then comes the rest. Homemade farsan stashed away in big steel dabba s, dripping with desi ghee and lots of love. A night of pandal-hopping that includes cream-laden chicken kebabs, roomali roti s and three types of chaat . Socialising over butter paneer and biryani . Days that begin with poori s, aloo and sheera and end with dal makhani , aloo parathas and kheer . That roast chicken stuffed with fat and bread and goodness.
Your stomach groans and antacids become your best friends. But you trudge relentlessly on, welcoming the Yuletide with cake, wine and pudding, and New Year with extra padding around your waist.
Losing weight has been a New Year resolution for years now, usually prompted by the excesses of these three months. I’m going to be thinner than I was the previous year, I promise myself, at the beginning of it. I start off well enough, encounter a few blips along the way and by September have thrown in the towel and embraced gluttony with a vengeance.
As I write this column, Deepavali is still underway. The steady staccato of firecrackers has invaded my room and my tongue still holds traces of rich food. My stomach lurches and I feel faintly sick. Also, I must confess, a trifle annoyed with myself. Delicious food follows the law of diminishing marginal utility: after you’ve eaten too much, it stops tasting great. The calories, after a point, really aren’t worth it.
This year, I want to break the cycle. I don’t want to wait till 2018 to start a clean eating programme: I’m starting right away. For the first time in decades, I want to embrace the new year lighter, not heavier. And I’m counting on you, dear reader, to hold me accountable, or even join me if you like.
To be continued…
