Everyone thinks I’m from another planet; it’s actually just short of terming me an eccentric. For I refuse to attend weddings, and more particularly refuse to attend weddings that are “sponsored” by the bride’s side. I refuse to carry gifts with me. I refuse to stand in queue to wish newlyweds. I refuse to stand in a queue to collect food to eat. Same rule applies for birthday bashes.
My family members make scornful remarks at me saying I am naïve, egotistical and do not understand the “ground realities” of life. But I continue to hold my ground and do not care if I get ridiculed.
Tell me, is it all right to stand in a queue to wish the bride and the groom and make animated conversation for the sake of the videographers and photographers who dictate how and where you should stand, how you should keep your chin up and so on? Is it okay when a close friend or relative of the family is whisked on to the dais, jumping the queue, and given VIP treatment to let him or her to wish the newlyweds ahead of you?
Is it acceptable to give a bouquet to the girl and boy that gets thrown behind the stage minutes after it is given? They hardly bother to check the beauty of the exotic flowers, or consider the feelings of those who gave the flowers?
Is it prudent to give clocks, flower vases, mugs, trays and steel bowls as gifts? They get dumped in store rooms or attics and eventually get recycled for another function. Would it be tolerable when the family spends one full day “sorting” the gifts received and making funny and sarcastic remarks about those who gave the gifts?
Is it acceptable to stand in the queue at the buffet counter to get a bowl of soup when a reckless kid almost spills soup on your dress? Is it right to eat half or even less of the food collected from the buffet counter and throw the rest into the bin? Is it fair to stand behind a person who is having his food, waiting for your turn to sit down next, and be seated there immediately after he or she leaves and sit in front of an uncleaned table waiting to be served. And when you turn back after a few minutes you find another person standing right behind you waiting for his turn and signalling in an unspoken manner that you should finish your food quickly!
Is it appropriate to attend the birthday bash of a one-year-old who is too young to even realise what is happening? Is it okay when kids coerce their parents to buy gifts to be given on the occasion and even carry return-gifts back home? Eventually you are forced to conduct such an event to “repay the debt” for accepting the gift. It is a chain of events.
No, I refuse to be part of this appalling tradition of feeding (already well-fed) people. The wastage of food is nothing short of a criminal waste of resources and efforts.
I also refuse to give gifts to prove my attendance at a function. Why should I gift someone because they are getting married or celebrating a birthday? It is their family affair; let them gift each other. Why should I give a gift and also carry back something given by them — a coconut, an apple or a sweet lime, or even some steel or plastic utensil?
The discussions that take place at homes before a function concerning gifts to be given are nothing short of parliamentary deliberations. People get confused as to what they should carry and what its worth should be.
Another atrocious practice is videographing the gifting, just to check who gave what. Some families even keep a register to log the details of all gifts, with names, to see how much was given.
Conducting marriages in wedding halls and giving gifts on public occasions is a tradition that should stop. It should be a private affair within a close family circle; why so much of pomp and noise? I refuse to follow such traditions and practices. So, am I from another planet?
balajiraodg@gmail.com
